1^ 



FROM THE GUTTER TO 
THE MINISTRY, 



BY 



REV. B. H. FULKERSON. 



APR 80 189 6 ! 

A BIOGRAPHY OF TEN YEARS OF THE WRITER'S LIFE. 

FIVE YEARS A DRUNKARD, AND 
FIVE YEARS A MINISTER. 




Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1S95. 
By REV. B. H. FUI,KERSON, 
In the office of the librarian of Congress, Washington, D. C. 



PREFACE. 



^jpHE writer of these pages, being young in years, 
does not wish to place himself before the pub- 
lic in a conspicuous manner, but with a prayerful 
heart he has penciled these pages that by the help 
of God, the giver of all that is good, he may be en- 
abled to lead the young out of the paths of sin, in 
which he has traveled, or be used as a signal of dan- 
ger to the youth who has not yet started aw T ay from 
home and parental roof into the broad way of sin and 
destruction, and help him into the glorious life of a 
Christian, which he now lives and enjoys. 



FATHER'S LIFE. 



I feel it necessary to give a short history of my 
father's life before entering upon my own, as I feel 
it may help the readers of these pages to appreciate 
more fully what they read, and should they ever 
come under his vision, help him to a nobler, grander 
life in this world, and be a means of grace in God's 
hand to lead him to Christ Jesus the Savior of man- 
kind, the Savior who saves his boy, the boy that he 
himself has forsaken, that some day they may meet 
around the throne of God where sin can no more 
steal in and mar the peace of a home and scatter the 
inmates never to meet again, as it has in this world. 

My father, at one time, was a farmer in Nelson 
county, Kentucky; at one time bid fair to be one of 
the wealthiest farmers in that section of country, but 
taking to hard drink and wandering off into sin such 
as whisky usually leads to, he continued to drink and 
mortgage his property until all he had was under 
mortgage. One morning, hitching a span of horses 
to the family carriage, and pretending to be going to 
a neighbor's on business, he drove away, never to be 
seen by his wife and children again. It was in De- 



6 



Fathers Life. 



cember of '67, a few mornings before Christmas; I 
was scarcely three months old. He drove to Louis- 
ville, just forty miles from home and sold the span of 
horses and carriage for one hundred dollars ; he had 
ofttimes before refused five hundred dollars for the 
horses alone. He was last seen by those who knew 
him taking a train at the Louisville and Nashville 
depot. From that time to the present he has never 
been seen by his wife or children, nor have they heard 
of him. He left them almost penniless. What was 
the cause of it? Ah! it was whiskey, the demon that 
has robbed so many homes. I believe that from his 
life I inherited the dark existence of the live years 
you will find revealed in the following pages. 



FIVE YEARS A DRUNKARD. 




"Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in 
the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the 
sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will 
bring thee into judgment." Ecclesiastes xi: 9. 



I left my home and dear old mother the first day 
of March, '85. I had determined to cut loose from 
mother's apron strings, as the boys term it to cut 
loose from home and Christian environments. I was 
tired of mother's advice; I started for the great city 
of Chicago, where I intended, as I thought, to make 
a man of myself. I reached the great city on the 
third morning of March, and at once began to wander 
up and down the streets of vice and immorality, pass- 
ing and repassing the houses of sin and crime un- 
mentionable. As the sun began to hide itself behind 
the great tall buildings on the western side of the sin- 
polluted streets, and the shades of night slowly crept 
upon the teeming multitudes of that vast city, who 
were engaged in sin and crime, and though unaware, 
at this period, the shades of sin and shame crept 
slowly upon my poor immortal soul, as I wandered 




PART I. 



CHAPTER I — OR FIRST YEAR. 



8 



From the Gutter 



into a so-called private boarding house, and made 
arrangements for a weeks board and lodging. After 
the period of one long hour had elapsed I recognized 
the ringing of the supper bell; I went in and sat down 
at the table. No thanks were returned to God for His 
blessings, no mothers' kind voice, no one to call me 
son; at the foot of the table, instead of the sweet face 
and gentle smiles of mother, . there sat a stranger; 
though she was some boy's mother she could be no 
mother to me. She was laughing (my mother was 
crying); her baby boy was at home, (my mother's 
baby boy had deserted her); she with a heart of 
gaiety, leading her boy astray, (my mother with a 
broken heart praying God to bring back her boy that 
had been led astray by another). As these thoughts 
came rushing into my mind my appetite took its 
flight and I left the table without tasting a bite of 
food, and took a seat on the front portico. My mind 
wandered back upon the day I left my home with 
much regret, but before I had time to truly repent 
and resolve to return home the boarders, who were 
young men from the age of twenty to thirty years, 
had finished dining and one after another seated 
themselves around me, until they numbered six, when 
they with one accord began to make inquiry as to my 
whereabouts. At this point the evil one (Satan) 



To the Ministry. 



9 



rushed into my mind and heart and dispersed all the 
thoughts of home and mother, or of ever returning, 
as I had just been thinking, and I at once began to 
give a history of my life, which was about as follows : 
"I am from Louisville, Kentucky. My old mother is 
one of these old religious cranks. She believes in 
making a fellow go to Sunday-school every Sunday, 
whether he wants to or not, and then I have an old 
step-father that is as mean as he can be to live (there 
was some truth in the last statement) I have just 
made up my mind that I will not be tied in any such 
manner. It is bad enough for one to be tied to moth- 
er's apron strings, to say nothing of being dogged 
around by a step -father. I have just made up my 
mind to come here where I could be free and do as I 
pleased." 

"Hurrah for you" responded the boys, "we don't 
blame you. We would not be tied down in any such a 
way for any body. That is just what we have done, 
and I tell you it is far better than being at home. We 
have a good time and do just as we please. We are 
going for a good time to-night. Get your hat and 
come go with us." 

"Where are you going?" I asked. 

"Going to have a game of billiards." 

"What is that?" 



10 



From the Gutter 



"What, have you never seen a billiard-table. Come 
and we will show you one." 
-Where?" 

"In a downtown saloon." 

"No boys, I cannot go into a saloon. I have been 
taught by my mother not to go into a saloon." 

"But now look here; we thought that you left 
home to get away from your mother. Come on, be a 
man." So I yielded and went, but what a night that 
proved to be, you may see as you read the following 
pages. On we went until by-and-by we reached the 
down-town saloon, and the billiard table. We at once 
began our game, and of course, my being "green" I 
lost the game and had to pay for the drinks. The boys 
drank and I took a cigar; I could not as yet get the 
consent of my mind to take a drink. So another game 
was played, and of course I lost, and again I had an- 
other game to pay for. But I took another cigar, 
while the boys took another drink. On and on we 
played, I having all of the drinks to pay for until I 
had my pocket full of cigars. Then the boys being 
anxious for me to take another step began at me to 
take a drink, with the assurance that it would do me 
no harm. I again yielded and drank of the awful 
cup. On and on we played, I still loosing and paying 
for the games, but instead of cigars, I drank of the 



To the Ministry. 



11 



cup of rum until I was carried to my boarding house 
about one o'clock that night as drunk as I could have 
possibly been. The next morning when I awoke, the 
sun with its golden beams showered down upon my 
couch, but there was no beauty in it for me. For all 
within was dark and gloomy. I thought, how could I 
ever face my boarding house mistress, and how awful 
it would be if mother knew all that had happened the 
past night. I thought of going back home, but now 
the breakfast bell rang and my thoughts for good 
were blighted. Oh! that I had returned home before 
another night, the five years of blight and shame I 
might have escaped. Young men, when you find that 
you are going wrong, stop, stop! turn! may God help 
you turn. One night of sin calls for another. I made 
my way down the stairs and into the dining room. It 
seemed to me that I would sooner meet any one than 
meet the boarding house mistress. I had no other 
thought than to receive a rebuke from her or at 
least, a word of advice, but to my supprise, she 
failed to say anything. What a mistake she made. 
Had she talked to me as a mother should to a child, 
(whether her child or not she should have remembered 
that I was some mother's child) and dune as she would 
wish to be done by, she might have changed my 
whole life of shame and gloom into one of sunshine. 



12 



From the Gutter 



Mothers, never fail to give some mother's child good 
advice when the opportunity presents itself, I ate 
but very little breakfast that morning, for I felt very 
bad at head and heart. I lef t the house and began ta 
walk the streets of that great city, but there was 
nothing to be seen that could ease the pain of heart 
caused by the results of the tirst night of manhood. 
Oh, what manhood! I thought of home and mother and 
of the dreadful night just spent. My head ached, my 
heart ached, my very soul ached. As the evening 
shades of another night found place in the great city 
and I wandered back to my boarding house, the boys 
had begun to gather in, and soon the supper bell was 
heard, and as the evening before, we all marched in 
and seated ourselves around the table. No thanks 
were offered for the food; no, God's name was not 
heard, but like animals, we began to eat, just as 
some professed Christians do now days. One by one 
we finished eating and left the table and seated our- 
selves on the front portico as we had the evening be- 
fore, and after a few vulgar tales w T ere told, another 
trip to the billiard hail was proposed, but I refused to 
be one of the party. The trip the night before had not 
worn off. I was still sick, but I was told by a half- 
dozen at one time that it would not make me sick this 
time; but I still refused. But insisting was kept up 



To the Ministry, 



13 



and for inducement, there was a partner game pro- 
posed, and one of the best players of the company 
proposed playing partner with me, and to this I res- 
ponded at once and accepted as well, for I was more 
than anxious to beat some of them that had taken ad- 
vantage of me the night before. Ah! the devil knew 
where to touch my weak point. Truly has the word 
of God said: 4 'Be sober, be vigilant; because your 
adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, 
seeking whom he may devour." (I Peter, v: 8). Very 
little did I think that the partnership game was 
simply a trap of the devil to make a drunkard and a 
gambler of me, and to lead me to the billiard hall to 
rob me of my money and manhood. But alas! that was 
his sole object, and successful was he too. For I 
yielded to the temptation and followed them to the 
billiard-hall. The partner game was soon arranged and 
we at once began to play, but my partner did not 
play as well as the night before. We lost the first 
game that was played. We played and drank until 
early in the morning, myself and partner paying for 
nearly all of the games, or in fact, I paid for nearly 
all of them myself, my partner soon being broke 
and he borrowed from me, which, of course, he owes 
me yet, for that was the trap the devil used them in 
laying for me. Dear young men, may God help you 



14 



From the Gutter 



to Irani the lesson from this snare of the devil, not 
every picture painted is a true one. No! no! but 
every picture painted by the devil is like this one, 
its bright side is only a snare, only an imaginary ray 
of sunshine, but like all other pictures it has two 
sides — "False and true." The true side of satan's 
pictures is like this one before us. It is the dark side, 
which means ruin, wreck and despair, and yet, like 
this picture or snare he (the devil) can always find 
servants to put them in operation for him, and young 
men, he does not always have to go to the great city 
of Chicago to find them. Beware! he has them at 
your door. That morning I went to my boarding 
house beastly drunk again. In the morning as the 
darkness of the night was being dispelled by the 
bright rays of the rising sun, I awoke, and sure 
enough I found that the devil had been guilty of tell- 
ing me one truth. He had said that I would not be 
so sick the second time, and I was not so sick, physi- 
cally, and not so sick at heart. Ah! that is the 
trouble; sin soothes the soul to sleep, soothes the con- 
science and hardens the heart. I was sick, of course, 
but not so much as the morning before. I felt remorse, 
yes, but not so much as the morning before. The fear 
of meeting the boarding house mistress was no more. 
I was already convinced that she would say nothing, 



To the Ministry. 



15 



because she had failed to say anything the morning 
before, and even had she said something, it would 
not have done the good that it might have done the 
morning before. Her first opportunity had past, 
which is always the best opportunity to do good. I 
thought some of home and mother, but not as I had 
the morning before. My heart had been hardened 
some. The devil had made me believe mother would 
not find it out. Of course that was a lie, as you will 
see from pages yet to follow. 4 'Be sure your sins 
will find you oat." I went down to breakfast and ate 
as usual, and then was off for another day of wander- 
ing over the great city. But this time I wandered 
into a saloon and billiard hall, to watch others play 
that I might learn, for I had determined to beat the 
boys at the boarding house. Oh, the fascinating 
power that evil has on the minds and hearts of the 
sons of men. No wonder the Master of Heaven and 
earth would teach us to ' 'abstain from all appearance 
of evil." (Thes. v: 22). Night soon came again, and 
after supper the billiard game was again proposed, 
and I went and played all night and came home drunk 
in the morning, and as before paid for most of the 
games. This was kept up for weeks, until like the 
prodigal spoken of in the bible, I had spent all my 
living, and as soon as the boys found this out (for they 



16 



From the Gutter 



were the first to find it out, because I had do money 
to pay for the last game of billiards I lost) they at 
once began to shun me, and would leave the boarding 
house at night, one by one, without a single invitation 
to join them. At last the day came when I must pay 
for another week's board in advance; so, late in the 
evening, I informed the mistress of the boarding 
house that I was broke and had no money to pay 
board with. Very well, was the reply, you will have 
to find somewhere else to sleep to-night. I cannot 
afford to run a boarding house on credit. So, after 
supper, as was the custom, the boys all left again for 
another night at the billiard hall; there was not one 
of the number, though they had been the ones who 
claimed to be my friends, though they were first to 
to lead me in sin, who offered me a helping hand. 
Ah, just like satan, he with his servants, always 
ready to lead you into trouble and forsake you. Dear 
reader, if you have not already chosen the friend 
(Christ Jesus) that sticketh closer than a brother 
delay not, but make the choice at once. 

After all the boys had gone, I then went out 
also. I walked up and down the business streets, 
looking into the show windows until the city clock 
struck twelve. Having no where to sleep, no home 
to go to, no friends to help me, left all alone 



To the Ministry. 



17 



without a penny, I wandered down to the Chicago 
& Alton freight yards and finding an empty box 
car on a side track, I crept in so as to let no 
one see me. I made a pillow out of my dress 
coat and covered with my overcoat went to bed 
on the naked floor of the car. I slept none that night, 
for the night was very cold. I lay on the floor 
until chilled through and through, then I would walk 
the car from one end to the other. I thought of 
by-gone days, my school days, my days at home with 
mother, the days and nights with the boys at the 
boarding house, of their cruel treatment to me. I 
would think of the billiard hall, and whenever I would 
lie down I would hear the rolling of the balls upon 
the billiard table. But while I thought of home and 
mother, they were not thoughts of love or of return- 
ing, but of disgust. I only thought to keep my life a 
secret from those that loved me. Oh, I shall never 
be able to erase that night from my memory, it was 
an awful night, but not the worst night I ever spent 
in sin as you will realize before you conclude reading 
these pages, but it was my first night in such a 
manner. I was simply reaping what I had been sow- 
ing, as every man must do for God has said, 4 'Be not 
deceived. God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man 
soweth that shall he also reap." (Gal. vi: 7). 

2 



18 



From the Gutter 



But at last the long looked for morning light made 
its appearance and I again entered upon the busy 
thronged streets of the great city, I walked the streets 
too and fro until I became very weak and faint because 
I had had no morning food and no rest at all through 
the night. My head ached, my back ached, my heart 
ached. But I must do something; this will not do; 
I cannot live at this: here it is almost noon. And 
while I was standing upon one of the corners of the 
street I saw a man unloading a load of coal on the 
opposite side of the street. I walked across to learn 
to whom it belonged. The driver who was unloading 
the coal informed me that it belonged to a lawyer who 
had his office in the third story of the building just 
at us, and thought that I could get to carry it up- 
stairs for him, w T hich would pay me about fifty cents. 
So I made my way up the long flight of stairs to the 
office room. I secured the job and was furnished with 
a basket that held about a bushel to carry it up with. 
I made my way back down the stairs and filled the 
basket with coal, but I soon found that it was more 
than I could carry, for I was very weak from the loss 
of sleep and food, so I emptied about half of it and 
worried on up the stairs basket after basket until 
about the middle of the afternoon, when I managed to 
get the last lump up the stairs. Oh, what poor pay 



To the Ministry. 



19 



the Devil is, but he paid me about as well as he ever 
pays any of his servants. I then made my way to a 
fiteen cent restaurant where I tried to eat some stuff 
called food, with the coal dust all over me. I was as 
black as coal itself. 

Pretty soon the shades of another night had 
enveloped the city, and you could only see, as the 
electricity shed forth its rays of artificial light upon 
the crowded streets, people going to their places 
of abode from their places of labor. I looked for 
some place to lodge through the night and of course 
I had to look for some cheap place as thirty-five cents 
was the amount ir my purse. I looked around for 
some time and at last found a fifteen cent lodging 
house. I went in and paid for a bed, got a pan of 
water and tried to get some of the coal dust off my 
face and hands, after which I was taken to my room 
where I was to lodge for the night. It was a room 
40x101 feet. It was filled with woven wire cots, just 
room enough between them for one chair. Every 
cot was occupied that night by all sorts, sizes and 
kinds. I suppose it was some better than the box 
car the night before, for it was warm and I had some- 
thing to cover with; also lots of bed fellows, commonly 
known as gray-backs. But there was not much sleep- 
ing on my part, there were more folks in one bed- 



20 



From the Gutter 



room than I had been used to. I suppose there were as 
many as one hundred and fifty bedded there that 
night; some rolling too and fro, some scratching, 
some grunting and groaning, some dreaming, while 
others were talking in their sleep. Such a night as 
this ! One could not think of the past, present or fu- 
ture. 

Morning came again by-and-by and I started 
out for another day. For my breakfast, about ten 
o'clock, I went into a saloon and bought a glass of 
beer, and ate the counter lunch. I found no coal to 
put away that day, so I wandered back to the lodg- 
ing house again as the shades of night threw them- 
selves upon the earth, and paid my last fifteen cents 
for another one of those beds in that large bedroom. 
I got in sooner than the night before, some time be- 
fore bedtime, weak, tired and hungry, for I had had 
but one lunch that day. I learned through a con- 
versation with the proprietor that there was a gospel 
mission up the street a short distance where they 
gave a pint cup of coffee and a light roll to all who 
wanted it after each service. So I started out to find 
the mission, in which I was successful. I listened to 
the talk, and got my bread and coffee, and went back 
to the lodging house. Oh, how I can look back on 
that mission now and see that it was ordained of God. 



To the Ministry. 



21 



How I can see the hand of God trying to lead me to 
Himself. 

Let ns pause a moment and notice the contrast be 
tween God's servants and satan's. For instance, the 
boarding house mistress, after taking my money, re- 
fused to give me a night's lodging after it was gone. 
The boys who had led me to the billiard hall would 
now shun me, but God's servants would feed my body 
and try to lead me to the Great Shepherd that my 
soul might be fed. What a contrast. May God help 
the unsaved readers of these pages to seek the asso- 
ciations of christian people. 

After I reached the lodging house I was again 
ushered to my bed, not the same bed I occupied the 
night before, however, but in the same room; you 
were as apt to get one bed as another; here I spent 
just such another night as I have described. In fact, 
I wandered about in the great city, carrying in coal, 
and doing like jobs, eating counter lunches in saloons, 
going to the mission to get bread and coffee every 
night and sleeping in the lodging house, or one simi- 
lar to it, for months. I finally got work in a chair fac- 
tory running a circular saw, at ten dollars a week. 

I worked there until I got twenty dollars ahead, and 
I then found some more friends, if that is the name 
for them. One of them, knowing I had some money, 



22 



From the Gutter 



began telling me what a grand place Kansas City, Mo. , 
was, and how easy it was to get work there. He was 
a professional gambler, and promised to teach me 
some of the tricks of the profession, which he did, as 
you will realize further on. I consented to go; so we 
started, not in a Pullman sleeper by any means. We 
desired to keep our money, or rather, my money, for 
I had it all; so down to the Chicago and Alton freight 
yards we went, found a train going to Kansas City, 
and boarded one of the box cars just as the engine 
started out. We traveled this way, keeping ourselves 
concealed, until we reached Independence, Kansas, 
where we were put off, but boarding the next train that 
came through, which was about midnight. We got in a 
cattle car loaded with lumber, it was about full, with 
just enough room for us to ride inside, by lying flat 
on our backs right at the little door on top of such 
cars. 

Just as the train pulled out it began to rain, 
and I believe it rained as hard as I ever saw rain fall 
from the clouds, and it rained till we reached Kansas 
City, the next morning about seven o'clock. We 
were as wet as water could make us, and almost 
chilled to death. We went to a first-class lodging 
house and renting a room started a fire in the stove, 
then taking off our clothes hung them to the fire to 



To the Ministry. 



23 



dry, and went to bed. Soon we were warm and fell 
to sleep, and slept all day. It was about dark when 
we a.rose and dressed ourselves in our half -dried cloth- 
ing, and started in search of something to eat; after 
eating supper, we started in search of furnished 
rooms, finding them I paid eight dollars in advance 
for the use of the room for two weeks. We then 
started out to take in the town; we drank but little 
that night, but managed to get drunk. It was a grade 
of whisky that took but little to make one drunk. We 
soon found our way back to our new room and got in 
bed. The morning light soon came, and after a short 
consultation with all parties concerned regarding 
something to eat, we decided to live on a cheap plan 
until we could find work. So I went out and bought 
a coffee pot, a pound of coffee, some bread and smok- 
ed sausage, and making my way back to the room got 
in readiness for our first meal in our new quarters. 

The next night drew on we got a deck of cards 
and a quart of rotten whisky. We played cards 
and drank whisky, my companion teaching me 
the tricks of the games. We lived thus for two weeks 
making our coffee and eating smoked sausage and 
baker's bread, playing cards and drinking whisky at 
night, I paying all expenses. I looked for work 
through the day, but found none. I soon found out 



24 



From the Gutter 



that it was not so plentiful in Kansas City as had been 
represented to me by my companion; he (my com- 
panion) looked for no work as he was not of the work- 
ing kind, he was only after the -loaves and fishes; bat 
by-and-by the end came, there was just forty cents 
left and one more night in the room. My companion 
was very anxious to go after the day's rations as I was 
feeling very bad. I gave him the last forty cents I 
had in the world to go and get food for the day. He 
left with it never to return again, and I have never 
seen him from that day to this. Oh. what a hard pay- 
master the devil is. I waited and watched for him 
until about noon, but the bread that I longed for 
never came. I gave up in despair and left the room. 
I walked all the day without anything to eat at all. 
As the shadows began to cluster around me I made my 
way back to the room for the last time. I went to 
bed very weak and faint, and rolled and tossed to 
and fro for hours. At last I fel] off to sleep and slept 
until the sun had been sending forth its golden beams 
upon the earth for some time; after I lay and thought 
for some time I dressed myself, as I knew something 
must be done. But what was that something? No 
money, no work, no friends, no food, and I had al- 
ready been twenty-four hours without a bite to eat, 
something must be done. After a few. more moments 



To the Ministry. 



25 



of reflection and meditation I thought of my farm life 
when quite a boy, and while thus thinking the 
thought came to me that perhaps I might get some- 
thing to do on a farm. So I at once decided to start 
for the country. Weak and faint from hunger, sick 
at mind and sad at heart, I started West. I had 
walked about five miles when I got a glimpse of a 
two-story house painted white, far down in the valley 
below; I kept up my steps, though they were very 
slow and weak, but by-and-by I reached the house 
and with a weak hello or two secured the attention of 
the family as they were seated around the old family 
fire-place, such as they have in Kansas. I could see 
them through the window. There was a tall, slender 
old gentlemen who at once made his appearance at 
the door, and after I had made my waats known, I 
was asked into the house that I might warm. Ah, I 
had found another christian home. He asked several 
questions as to my whereabouts and how I came to be 
in such hard circumstances. Ah, it was easy to ex- 
plain. The truth of the whole matter was I was follow- 
ing the devil, but in some way, I do not remember 
just the words I used. I hid the whole truth 
with a lie, and made things appear as well 
as possible. After a few more questions as 
to what I could do on a farm I was employ - 



26 



From the Gutter 



ed for a month at fifteen dollars and my board. 

After I had eaten my dinner I started to the 
field to shuck corn, the old gentleman going with 
me, as he had his doubts as to whether I could 
do anything on a farm or not. I happened to 
have in my coat pocket an old wooden suching- 
peg made of hickory, which was fastened on 
the hand by a little piece of leather, such as we used 
in Kentucky. I had used this one some two or three 
winters past, and somehow had been carrying it in 
my pocket all this time. When I pulled this out of 
my pocket and put ic on my hand and gave a pull or 
two at an ear of corn, the old man turned away and 
said, "I'll give it up. I see you have shucked corn be- 
fore." 

I worked here two months. I could stand it no 
longer. I must go back to Kansas City and put in 
practice some of the tricks I had learned while in the 
room there from my friend who had deserted me and 
taken my last forty cents. I thought he lived with- 
out work, and why could I not do the same. He had 
taught me how to play cards until I could play as 
well as he. So back to Kansas City I went. I found a 
gambling hell and tried my hand at card playing, and 
that night I won about fifty dollars; the next day I 
started back to the great city of Chicago, I was very 



To the Ministry. 



27 



anxious to let the boys of my first acquaintance in 
that city know how I could play cards. They might 
beat me playing billiards, but I knew it all in cards; 
but when I reached there I met a bran-new friend 
who knew where he could win a fortune that night. 
So, as a fortune was what I was after, we started to- 
gether, and to be sociable, of course 1 must take 
him into a saloon and treat him. As soon as 
I proposed to drink, he told me of one of the best 
places in town to get drinks, so we started for the 
place he mentioned. No sooner had w y e reached the 
counter than he called the barkeeper to one side, and 
after a few momenl s of secrecy they came back and 
I received a hearty welcome from the bartender. The 
drinks were fixed up indeed, the one I drank w T as well 
fixed, for in a few moments I was drunk, and as sick 
as I had ever been in all of my life. My friend w r as 
very much hurt indeed at my misfortune of taking ill 
so suddenly, but assured me that I would be all right 
in a few minutes if I would just go to his room with 
him and lie down. So I went, and in a few moments 
fell asleep, to awake without a cent; for indeed when 
I awoke from my drunken slumber, I found my friend 
missing, also my purse, with every cent I had in the 
world. 

I thought of my grip, which was still at the 



28 



From the Gutter 



baggage room at the depot. My baggage check was 
in my purse; so I hastened to the depot to prevent 
his getting my grip as I was sure he would. I reached 
the depot to learn that I had slept longer than I 
had thought, for he had already gotten the baggage 
and gone. At this. I began to understand what the 
secret between my friend and the bartender was. They 
had drugged and robbed me of my money. Again 
I was in Chicago without a cent, or anywhere to sleep 
or eat. (May God, the giver of all that is good, use 
these pages as a signal of danger to the young men 
who may read them). 

Well, what was I to do. Go to carrying in coal 
again? Go to the mission to get my bread and 
coffee, and sleep at the fifteen cent lodging house? 
No! I could not think of doing this, I would go 
back to Louisville; so I went to one of the freight 
yards, where trains run from Chicago to Louisville, 
and boarding a box car traveled toward Louisville 
one day and night with nothing to eat. I was put off 
the train by a brakeman at Salem, Indiana. It was 
early in the morning. I wandered up the main busi- 
ness street to where tiiey were erecting a new brick 
court house, and waiting until seven o'clock learned 
that one of the hod carriers was missing. I was 
offered two dollars to fill his place one day which I 



To the Ministry. 



29 



accepted. I carried brick all day long up two flights 
of ladders, without a bite to eat, this making my 
second day without food. I need not tell you I was 
hungry, tired and sick. I got my pay for the day's 
work and started for a boarding house. Finding one 
I paid twenty -five cents for supper and twenty-five 
cents for a bed. As soon as I had eaten my supper I 
went to bed and slept until very late the next morn- 
ing. After getting up and paying twenty-five cents 
for breakfast, I made my way down to the depot and 
boarded the first freight train for Louisville. I ar- 
rived some time in the night, but I never went home 
to my mother. Somehow sin had hardened my heart, 
and I had been robbed of the love I once had for 
home and mother. I could only think of home as a 
thing of the past. I dreaded the thought of it. The 
name of home maddened my sin sick brain, seared my 
conscience, hardened my heart. The person of 
mother to me was a being to be dreaded, a form 
that had lost its loveliness, one whom I shunned as I 
should now shun demons. What was the matter, had 
she done wrong? No! no! her heart bled for me, as 
it ever had; it was not mother, but me; sin had ruined 
me. Oh boys, you who may these pages read, pray 
take warning, never leave or mistreat mother. The 
grandest earthly friend God ever gave man is mother. 



30 



From the Gutter 



Do not wander in sin and leave your home and dear 
old mother. Beware, sin will rob you of that love you 
now have for home and mother. 



TOOK POISON. 

CHAPTER II — OR SECOND YEAR. 

I remained in Louisville drinking, gambling, fight- 
ing, being arrested and paying fines; and working 
some. I kept hiding and dodging from mother and 
sisters until one night in August when I had been 
drinking very heavily. I was in a saloon and began 
to rehearse my past life since the spring morning when 
I left home and mother, and started for the great city 
of Chicago. I thought of my first night's experience 
in that city, of the mission that gave the bread ar.d 
coffee, and also of my trip to Kansas. The life of 
shame and ruin that I had been living stood out before 
me in letters that could not be hid. I could see the 
home that I left, the precious mother's life I had 
blighted, the heart that I had made bleed. I could 
see my dear, sweet sisters' faces that I had made sad 
with my evil ways. I realized somewhat of the shame 
and disgrace I had brought upon them. I could see 
myself a wreck — the past so black the future still 



To the Ministry. 



31 



blacker. I could see no hope. The more I rehearsed 
the dark and blighted past the more gloomy the pres- 
ent became until I decided that the only way out of 
the trouble was to take my life and put an end to all. 
(Oh, what a lie of the Devil that was to take my own 
life to end my trouble. It would have only launched 
my poor soul into everlasting perdition, but that was 
what the Devil was after — he only works to destroy 
the soul), so I left the saloon and made my way to a 
drug store, purchasing a box of rough-on-rats. Going 
back to the saloon from whence I had just come, I 
called for a glass of whisky. Just as the saloon 
keeper gave me the drink his atteniion was called to 
the front part of the building, and I was thus left 
all alone in the rear. Opening the box of rough-on- 
rafcs and emptying half the contents in the glass I 
drank it. In a few moments I fe]l to the floor in con- 
vulsions. The alarm was given and a crowd gathered 
Some saying, "poor fellow;" others, "the fool." 
Some asked the cause of the crime; the saloon keeper 
was the one to reply, "his girl went back on him." 
So the news scattered. ' 'Another man took poison 
on account of his best girl," the reporters wrote 
The papers published column after colums, telling of 
the aimed-at tragedy and the cause of it, laying it all 
at the door of one poor girl who had been so unfor- 



32 



From the Gutter 



tunate as to be seen in my company a few times. 
Though she was as innocent as a child, She must bear 
the disgrace, just as many other poor innocent girls 
have had to do. 

Dear young ladies, may I not ask you at this point, 
to learn a lesson from the dark and gloomy picture 
before you; beware of the company you keep, never 
be seen in company with a man who drinks. 

Yes, the girl was innocent: she had done nothing. 
It was not the girl; she had not crossed my mind. It 
was whisky, billiard halls, card tables and sin of al- 
most every character. Oh, my God! The destruc- 
tiveness of sin; beware; beware. The police patrol 
wagon was telephoned for and in a few moments was 
at the scene. I was laid in the wagon and it w^as driven 
away very hurriedly to the hospital. I was carried 
to the second floor of the great building and being 
laid upon the floor, the physicians at once began to 
work upon me; they pumped and pumped, gave me 
this medicine and that medicine; they worked as faith- 
ful as men could. At last one of them said, "men, 
there is no use torturing the man this way, I see no 
hope for him." So they ceased to work and laid me 
on a couch to die. One of 'the physicians, bending 
over my form, asked if there was any one I wished to 
see, or had I any message I would like to leave, as I 



To the Ministry. 



33 



must die. I thought, must I die? Is there any one 
I care to see, or a message I care to leave? Ah! yes, 
there was one that I wanted to see, I thought if I 
could just see mother and leave a dying message 
with her. So I asked that she be sent for, the 
message was carried to her home, but she was not 
there, she had gone to the country on a visit. But 
the message was wired to her. Did she come? Ah yes, 
the first train brought her, which was the next morn- 
ing. The sun had not been shining but a short time, 
when, as I lay on my side with my tear-dimmed eyes 
fixed on the stair- way that led into the room where I 
lay, I saw the form of a woman supported on one side 
by a young lady and upon the other by a young man. 
I looked, and behold, it was the form of the one that 
I had been dreading, the form of her I had so long 
shunned, it was the form of my blessed mother, sup- 
ported by a brother and sister. What ! did she really 
come to see me, who had so ofttimes broken her 
heart? to see me who had been so long shunning her? 
me, who had wandered so deep in sin and shame, 
and had brought shame and disgrace upon her, and 
at last guilty in the sight of God of committing sui- 
cide? Ah, yes, it was her, it was a mother's love. 
It is common for friends to forsake you, brothers and 
sisters may forsake you, and there are many fathers 

3 



34 



who will forsake their children when in trouble, but, 
ah, how seldom we find a mother who will forsake 
her boy. All others may fail. Sin and shame may 
wreck and ruin the boy and disgrace may heap itself 
upon him, yet the helping hand of a mother is there 
to aid, her words are there to comfort, her heart to 
bless and pity, her tears to bathe the aching brow. 

Oh boys, who may these pages read, 
Young men, who are in sin and shame, 

To 3'our mother's advice pray take heed, 
And live such lives as will bless her name. 

And if old age she lives to see, 

Then, be her guide, support and stay; 

And when life on earth is done, 

You shall meet her beyond the sun. 

They led her to the cot where I was lying, and 
with broken heart, trembling voice and quivering 
lips she bowed herself over me and stamped a kiss on 
my sin poluted lips, and bathed my aching brow w ith 
the precious tear-drops of her own eyes, whispering 
into my ear, son, has mother done anything? Oh, 
the wonderful love of a precious mother. Had she 
done anything? Ah, no; her wicked boy had done it 
all, and she kissed and kissed my fevered, flushed 
cheeks and bathed and rebathed my aching brow 
As I pencil these lines upon my tablet for publication, 
though it has been a long nine years since that day, I 



To the Ministry. 



35 



can feel the falling tear-drops upon my aching brow 
as they fell from mother's eyes; the physicians led 
her away from my cot, telling her she could no longer 
stand the excitement, and that she was only mak- 
ing it worse for her boy. They led her as far as the 
stairway, when she stopped and said: Doctor, doctor, 
please let me kiss my boy once more before I leave, 
let me kiss my boy?" They led her back to the cot, 
and she again bowed over my form and impressed an- 
other kiss; and again she bathed my brow with 
tears, and whispered to me, "rriyson, Jesus loves you. 
They tell me you must die. Won't you trust Jesus. He 
stands with outstretched arms, anxious to receive you 
into his embrace." And again they led her away. 

I watched her blessed form as long as I could see. I 
then thought I was looking on her for the last time 
in life, yea, the last time I should ever see her. I was 
unprepared to meet God, and thus unprepared to meet 
her in eterntiy. 

I stop to say right here, I was made to fear 
death-bed repentence. I tried to pray; I tried 
to think of heaven, but could not; all was dark and 
blackness. I could only think of the darkness of the 
past, of the poison I had taken, of a mother's life I 
had helped to blight. I could see nothing in the future 
but a home with the lost, a home of demons, awaiting 



36 



From the Gutter 



he 1, the everlasting punishment of the soul. Thus 
I spent days in the hospital. Somehow, I know not, 
for it was and is a mystery to all who ever knew any- 
thing of the circumstances, I got well, and in less 
than a week was able to leave the hospital. 

On the morning I left I made a resolution to 
quit drink and make a man- of myself, but it was 
only a resolution, made to be broken, like all other 
resolutions made by man without God. I was 
able to go to work in a few days, but had no 
money to pay board, and the devil still kept me 
away from the home of my brothers and sisters, 
or mother. My heart was still evil. Like the 
natural man of this world I was inclined to evil and 
evil only, and that continually. So rather than go to 
either of the homes above mentioned, and by so doing 
confess my wrong, I went to work. I would work all 
day, eating bread and sausage twice a day, five cents 
worth of each for the day, sleeping in a box car of 
lumber at night. This I did for a whole week, until I 
drew my first week's pay. I then got a boarding 
house and kept my resolution until December, '86. 
That is, I quit drinking, but as to making a man of 
myself as I had resolved, that was impossible, for 
one cannot be a man in the true sense of the word 
without God in the heart. By that time, having saved 



To the Ministry. 



37 



some little sum of money, my resolution failed, and I 
began drinking, soon becoming more hardened than 
ever, and more bold with my meanness; so much so 
that I went within a half block of mother's home to 
get drunk. 

It was one night near the Christmas holidays 
when I got raving drunk and one of me neigh- 
bor's boys and myself became engaged in a quarrel 
He drew a knife and plunged it into my shoulder. I 
drew my pistol with the affirmed intention of killing 
him; but, thank God, just as I pulled the trigger 
some one standing close by hit my hand, turning the 
barrel of the pistol upward, and the ball went through 
the ceiling. 

The news was carried to mother, and with heart 
bleeding for me, she resolved to have the saloon 
keeper indicted for selling me whisky, as I was 
then but nineteen years of age. In order to do 
this she must have witnesses to testify against the 
saloon keeper; so early next morning mother set out 
to secure the witnesses, and her first call was upon 
the mother of the boy whom I had tried to shoot. 
With calmness of spirit she informed mother that she 
had never been before a court, and as it was none of 
her business, she would rather not go; but added, as 
mother was leaving the house, ' 'if that boy of yours 



38 



From the Gutter 



does hurt my boy I will put the law to him." Mother 
visited several of the homes of the community that 
morning, but was informed by all on whom she called 
that they had never been in court, and that as this 
did not concern them they would rather not go. 
Mother gave up in despair; it was none of their busi- 
ness, but if I hurt their boys they would have the 
law put to me. What could the law have done to 
bring back one of the boys that I might have killed. 

This idea that prevails among people that law can 
suffice for crimes committed by and through drunken- 
ness, is startling. May I give you an illustration of 
what the law can and has done to suffice for crime 
thus committed: One morning, as I was coming up 
from the Ohio river, on sixth street, in Louisville, go- 
ing South on the West side of the street, I saw an 
unusual crowd gathering around the door of a hovel, 
on the opposite side of the street. Presently I saw an 
officer, with two citizens, rush out of the door and 
get in a wagon that was standing close by, and drive 
off. Making my way across the street, and asking 
some one standing close by what the excitement was, 
I was told that a man named Anderson, who had 
killed his wife while on a drunken spree, had been 
hanged this morning in the jail for the crime, and 
that his eldest son. who was about eleven years of 



To the Ministry. 



39 



a,ge, had made money enough selling papers and 
blacking shoes to bury his father, and had requested 
that his body be brought home, to the house, from 
where he might be buried, and they have just de- 
livered the body to the boy. I went into the house, 
as many others were doing, and in one room saw two 
stool bottom chairs with the backs broken off, and on 
these laid the coffin that held the lifeless form of the 
3nce loved husband. In one corner of the room I 
discovered an old straw tick, and on it were the forms 
3f four little boys. The eldest, just eleven, and a crip- 
ple, presently came hobbling on his crutches to the 
coffin, and bending over the lifeless form he kissed 
the brow, bathing the face with tears, and sobbed, 
' 'Papa was a good man. Whisky did it. Papa loved ma- 
mma when he was not drunk.' ' Then turning 
to the three little fellows on the straw he said, "come 
brothers, and kiss papa's face before it gets cold." 
One by one they came, bending over and kissing the 
face, and would say, "papa was a good man; whisky 
did it," until the least one came. He was too small to 
reach the top of the coffin, so the eldest stooped down 
and picking the little fellow up in his arms held him 
while he kissed the face of the once loved father and 
tried to say as the others had said, ' 'papa was a good 
man, whisky did it. ' ' This man had killed his wife while 



40 



From the Gutter 



drunk. The law had been executed: capital punish- 
ment had been served ; the man had been hanged. 

What had been accomplished? Had the mother 
be en restored? Was there food for the orphan boys or 
raiment for them to wear; or beds on which to sleep? 
No! not so; but by the execution of the law there 
were made four orphans to be kicked and cuffed about 
by those who voted for the licensing of the saloons, 
those who sold the man the whisky. In the name of 
God and Heaven, let this nation arise and with one 
common consent put down the greatest foe of man- 
kind — whisky. Let every soul feel that it concerns 
them, and God is holding them responsible for the 
the deeds committed by and through it. 

I still continued to drink and run to dances, many 
being the night that I have danced all night long, 
drinking and getting drunk, arrested and paying 
a fine. 

One Sunday afternoon, while playing pool, one of 
the crowd of players and myself became engaged in a 
dispute over a single glass of beer. We quarrelled for 
a few moments and then left the saloon. We had not 
gone far when the one with whom I had been quar- 
reling hit me with a brick which knocked me sense- 
less, and then with one-half of the brick, as he had bro- 
ken it with the first lick, jumped on me and cut thir- 



To the Ministry. 



41 



teen holes in my head, some of them an inch and a 
half long. After so long a time, some of the boys 
who were standing by pulled him off of me, or I sup- 
pose he would have killed me. 

Oh ! how hard, to serve the devil and be paid in 
such as this. 



TRAVELING IN BOX CARS. 

CHAPTER III — OR THIRD YEAR. 

I continued to drink and gamble in Louisville this 
way until the fall of '87, when I started out for an- 
other trip. By this time I had learned to play bil- 
liards until I was hard to beat, and I was as good at 
cards as most gamblers. I had just won more than a 
hundred dollars the night I left on this trip. I started 
this time for St. Louis, Mo. I reached there safely 
about dark, and immediately after supper started for 
a poker room, and that night won something over a 
hundred dollars more. Next day I was drunk and 
being arrested, paid twenty- five dollars fine. Thus I 
remained in St. Louis for some weeks, gambling 
and drinking, getting arrested and paying fines, but 
after a while I found myself broke again, in St. 
Louis, without a penny. What should I do — borro 



42 



From the Gutter 



from the friends I had made while there? No; they 
were not the friends who help in the time of need. 
What then should I do — go to work? I could find 
none. Night came on again, and going to the usual 
gambling hell I sat up all night in a chair and tried 
to sleep, while others were gambling. No one offered 
me the price of a bed. 

When morning came I started out in search of 
work, finding none until late in the evening, when I 
found a Mission that run a woodyard in connection 
with its gospel work. They would let one chop en ough 
wood to pay for a meal in the restaurant that was also 
run in connection with the mission. I cut wood and 
got my supper, and as soon as it was dark made my 
way back to the gambling hell and perched myself in 
one corner as I had the night before, but before I 
could get into a doze, for doze was all a man could do 
on a stool bottom chair, I was punched under the fifth 
rib with some kind of a cane, and notified in language 
very rough but to the point, that this was no lodging 
house and no place for tramps. I rubbed my eyes and 
tried to make them understand that I was the one 
who had lost two hundred dollars just two nights be- 
fore, but utterly failed. They further insisted that 
it was no place for tramps, and I was lead to the door 
in a way that I knew meant business. 



To the Ministry. 



Such are the friends of a drunkard. 

I was again on the streets, at night, with no 
money. What was I to do? I started down to the union 
depot, and found a train just about ready to pull out. I 
made no inquiry as to where it was going, for I did 
care; I would as soon be in one place as another. I 
crawled under one of the passenger coaches and laid 
myself across the iron bars that support the cars, and 
just as I got myself fixed the train pulled out; over 
the hills and through the valleys it went, the cold 
winds blowing almost through me. I thought at times 
that I would surely freeze, but on I went, having no 
time for thinking that night, it being all I could do 
to keep from falling off the bars. I held on with both 
hands, and even then there was much danger of my 
falling and being crushed and mangled beyond recog- 
nition. 

Let us stop and get the picture of a gambler. Just 
two nights ago I was worth more than two hundred 
dollars, sleeping in the best bed that could be found in 
a hotel, could have rode in a sleeping car, had friends 
on every side. To-night I am penniless. Instead 
of a good bed to sleep in I am stretched out on two 
iron bars under a passenger coach; instead of riding 
in the car, am under it. Just two nights ago I was a 
gentleman in a gambling hell; to-night have been 



44 



From the Gutter 



kicked out of the gambling hell as a tramp. 

After riding many miles this way, just how far I 
could not tell, nor how long I was making the trip, 
but a little before day, I was seen by one of the work- 
men of the railroad company while testing the wheels 
of the cars, at a town, the name of which has escaped 
my memory, but somewhere in Missouri. I stayed 
around the depot until an early hour in the morning, 
just after daylight, when I boarded another passen- 
ger train, this time seating myself on the platform of 
a baggage coach that was coupled to the engine. I 
rode this way for some time, passing and stopping at 
several stations. When the train stopped I would 
get off on the opposite side from the depot, and wait 
for them to start when I would get on and seat my- 
self in the usual place, but by-and-by the fireman and 
engineer discovered me, which resulted in a first- 
class shower bath. The fireman at once began to 
to throw water on me through a rubber hose; this 
they kept up for fully fifteen minutes, and when we 
reached the next station I was as wet as water would 
make me. I was watched and prevented from get- 
on again when the train started. Indeed this was 
not hard to do, for I had had about all the shower- 
bath I had any desire for at present, the mercury 
stood below freezing point. I started to hunt a fire 



To the Ministry. 



45 



being almost frozen to death. It was row late in the 
evening and I had had nothing to eat since the sup- 
per that I chopped wood for in St. Louis at the gospel 
mission. As I was walking up the street, not know- 
ing where to go, I discovered an old lady trying to 
cut stove wood. Making my way into the yard and 
approaching her in conversation, making my wants 
known, and telling her of the shower bath I had re- 
ceived at the hands of the railroad fireman, I then 
proposed cutting wood for my supper. She was a 
motherly old lady, as her conversation proved, and, 
indeed, she had a right to be, for she had boys of her 
own. She very willingly let me chop the wood. I 
went to work and chopped for more than an hour, 
and hard too, for I was almost frozen to death and I 
used this means to get warm. One of the boys came 
in from work while I was cutting, and as soon as 
supper was ready I was called in, and after the boy 
had interviewed me, he took me up- stairs and gave 
me a change of clothes. Ah, I had found another 
christian home. After supper I was told that if I 
cared to stay all night, and would cut the cord of 
wood, they would give me a dollar to help me on my 
way. After promising to do so, the old lady re- 
marked that as I was tired and sleepy they had better 
have family prayer and let me go to bed. So she got 



46 



From the Gutter 



down the old family bible and read a chapter, the boy- 
leading in prayer, and I was ushered to my room. 
Oh, had I but found such a home as this when I first 
reached Chicago. Had there been family prayer in 
that home my first night, it might have saved me from 
this life of sin and shame. But now my heart was 
hardened; I thought very little or nothing of religion. 
I soon fell to sleep and slept until T was called for 
breakfast. After breakfast I began on the wood pile 
and continued to work hard until very late in the 
evening, just stopping long enough for dinner, when, 
the work was done, the old lady gave me the dol- 
lar promised, with a "God bless you; this will help you 
until, perhaps, you can do better." 

I again started off; going to the depot I boarded 
the first freight train that passed going toward Cali- 
fornia, as I had made up my mind to go there. I was 
months making the trip, stopping here and there, 
working a week in this place and a week in some 
other, sometimes gambling and drinking, sometimes 
with money, sometimes penniless, riding in box cars 
and under passenger coaches, and, in one instance, on 
the back of a steer. The car being loaded with beef 
cattle, for miles I stood on the back of a steer and 
held on to the side of the car. I reached Cali- 
fornia, only to be dissatisfied. I remained there 



To the Ministry, 



47 



a few weeks, when I started back, coming as I went. 
I got into Kansas again and stopped at Argentine, 
going to work in a gold smeltery; here I remained for 
some time, working in the day and drinking and 
gambling the better part of the night. Argentine 
was a local-option town, and prohibited gambling as 
well. There were six ' 'blind tigers" and six gamb- 
ling hells in the place, however, each "blind tiger'' 
having its own gambling hell. 

Some who read these pages may be ready to say, 
that is just what I have always said, local option does 
no good, there is just as much or more whisky sold 
as when we had no local option. 

But, pause a moment, and let us see what was the 
matter. The marshal of the place was a man who 
drank and loved to gamble; I have played poker with 
him all night in one of these "blind tigers," and 
drank until we were both drunk. With such officers 
as these we cannot expect to better a town with the 
local option law, but give us men for officers, and not 
things, and such things as "blind tigers' ' will have 
no more room in our towns than Christ the blessed 
Savior of mankind had in the inn. 

Being up so late at night, my constitution being 
weak from a life of dissipation, I could not stand the 
work in the smeltery; I became leadened and was not 



48 



From the Gutter 



able to work at all. They sent me to the Kansas City 
hospital where I lay for weeks, after which I was pro- 
nounced well, but it was a mistake, for I am not well 
yet, nor do I ever expect to be this side of heaven; 
my heart was affected by the disease, and remains so 
to this day. 

I then started for Louisville again, going to the 
union depot and boarding a freight train, without any- 
thing to eat. Sick and weak, I traveled until the next 
day about ten o'clock, when I was made to jump off 
the train by a brakeman while they were pulling up 
a very steep grade and going very slow. Going down 
the track I thought I would walk to the next town 
After walking some two or three miles I met a stran- 
ger who informed me that it was twelve or fifteen 
miles to the next town. Oh my, what was I to do, 
already sick and weak from hunger; but I must travel 
on. It would never do to stop here. So I walked 
a while and sit down on the side of the track to rest. 
I became very thirsty, but not a house could I see. I 
continued this way for some time, walking and rest- 
ing, until by-and-by I came in sight of a little log 
cabin about a mile from the track, upon the side of a 
very high hill I thought, of course there must be 
water there, as it would be impossible for anyone to 
live without it, and there was evidently people living 



To the Ministry. 



49 



there, there being fire in the inside as the smoke that 
came rolling out of the old stick chimney would indi- 
cate. Could I hold out to climb that monster hill. 
I decided to try, for I would just as soon have died 
on that hillside as anywhere. So I started up the 
rough road that wound around the hill, sitting down 
by the way-side to rest quite often. My tongue had 
by this time became very much swollen for the want 
of water. I at last reached the old rail fence that en- 
circled the cabin. I climbed upon the fence, and just 
as I was about to climb down on the other side there 
came from under the floor a very large brindle dog, 
with a yawn and a stretch of the jaw, that, to look 
down his throat, bid fair to swallow a boy that felt 
as little as I did at that moment, feathers and all. 
Then with a lunge and a howl like the roaring of dis- 
tant thunder he bade me leave the yard, which I did, 
and with no delay; in spite of my weakness I landed 
on the other side of the fence without touching a rail, 
when I heard the voice of an old darkey say, 4 'cum' 
her' sur an' let dat chile alone." I turned in time to 
see Rover crawling back under the floor. Aunty, said 
I, at once, have you any drinking water that you could 
let me have? 

"Ah chile," was the ready reply, "I is got de 
bes' spring cumin' out o' dat hill, you eber see in 



50 



From the Gutter 



all yo ? life, cum an' I'll take you to see it." 

I followed the old darkey as she climbed up the 
hill to the foot of a very high peak, where I saw one 
of the finest springs of water I had seen since a small 
boy, when living with my grandfather in Nelson 
county, Kentucky. She offered me a gourd to drink 
out of, but refusing, I asked permission to get down 
on my knees and drink from the spring, which re- 
quest she readily granted. Kneeling down I drank 
as long as I could in that w^ay, drinking and resting, 
until my thirst was satisfied. 

Some may want to know why I preferred getting 
on my knees and drinking out of the spring to using 
the gourd. The old spring reminded me so much of 
the one that flowed from the old hill at grandfather's, 
where I had gotten on my knees to drink so many 
times when I was pure before God. I w T anted to drink 
once more that way. 

Since I have become a child of God I have thought 
so many times of that spring of water, that old log 
cabin and aged darkey. Some times when trying to 
solve some problem in God's blessed word, becoming 
weary and thirsty to know more of God and his 
righteousness, I am made to think of that scene and 
compare it to the great hill of life. I think of the home 
on top of the hill, not a log cabin, but a mansion, in 



To the Ministry. 



51 



the city of God, and think of the thirsty souls when 
they reach the top of the hill where they will find the 
spring (the fountain of life) where they can drink of 
the once hidden mysteries of God, not given to them 
by man but Christ Himself shall give us of that 
water. 

After drinking the old darkey asked me in to lie 
down and rest, which I gladly did. I soon fell into a 
sound sleep lasting until I was aroused by old Uncle 
Sam, the husband of the old darkey, telling me that 
Jane had made a nice cup of tea and some nice biscuit, 
and he wanted me to try and eat, when he would take 
me to town. They brought in a nice white tablecloth 
and spread it over a stand table in the parlor, 
which served as bed and sitting room as well, there 
being but two rooms to the cabin, and brought in some 
of the best biscuits I had ever eaten, and the grand- 
est tea I ever drank, the breast of a Methodist 
chicken and some peaches and cream. They ate in 
the kitchen, but before eating I heard the old darkey 
thank God for what he was about to eat, and to bless 
that poor sick child and take him home to his folks. 
Ah, I had met another christian family, though they 
were darkies. But I would rather to-day be a darkey 
converted to the religion of our Lord, living in that 
log cabin on the hill-side in Missouri, than be a 



52 



millionaire, turned over to hardness of heart. 

After we had eaten, old Uncle Sam hitched the old 
gray mules to the farm wagon and drove me to town. 

I boarded another freight train. This time I got 
into a car loaded with baled hay, and breaking one or 
two of the bales open covered myself with the loose 
hay and rode to Chicago. Just how long I was on the 
trip I cannot tell, for I did not uncover myself the 
whole distance. It was day when I got into the car 
and day when I got out, but it had been long enough 
to cause me to begin to suffer for food. That same 
evening I found a train going to Louisville and it had 
several cars of hay, so boarding one of them and 
breaking two bales as I had before I again covered 
mj self and remained so until I reached New Albany, 
Indiana, just across the Ohio river from Louisville. 
I had been on the road from Chicago thirty-six hours 
and still had had nothing to eat. I was very weak and 
sick, but I had to walk across the river over a bridge 
a mile long, and I must pay five cents on the other 
side for the privilege, but the five cents I had not. 
But surely, I said to myself, the man, • when he sees 
my condition, will let me cross free. So I started. 
I staggered across to the other side, but the gate- 
keeper of the bridge refused to let me pass without 
the price. I told him that I was sick and penniless 



To the Ministry. 



53 



and trying to get home, but he would not consent to 
to let me pass, so walking back on the bridge a few 
steps I sat down on the floor. I had made up my 
mind to stay there until after midnight, for then the 
gate keeper would go home and I would be able 
to pass. After I had sat there more than an hour he 
(the gate keeper) proposed that I go to a public pump 
and get him a bucket of water, the pump being some- 
thing like half a mile from the bridge. I took the 
bucket and started in the direction of the pump, but 
I never got there, for as soon as I got out of his sight 
I set the bucket down on the sidewalk and started in 
the direction of the home of a married brother, which 
was in the eastern portion of the city, and about six 
miles. I would walk a while and then sit down a 
while on the sidewalk to rest. I was until a late hour 
in the night reaching my destination, but when I did 
reach it, I found a hearty welcome. I was treated by 
my brother and dear sister-in-law as though I had 
never done wrong. Sister made me a cup of tea and 
set me an extra supper. I tried to eat, but could not, 
though I had eaten nothing for more than three days. 
I was too sick to eat. They put me to bed, and I was 
there for some time. It was days before I could eat 
anything. 



54 



From the Gutter 



CARED FOR BY A BROTHER. 

CHAPTER IV — OR FOURTH YEAR. 

It was now the spring of '88. I was helpless, ill 
for months, my brother caring for me as no one but 
a brother of love and mercy could; my dear sister-in- 
law could be seen at all times ; trying to fix this and 
that for me. She could have been no better to one of 
her own brothers, for which, I shall always hold her 
dear in my memory. 

As soon as I was able to get about I left the home 
of my brother. I left to engage in sin. 

It seems that after past experience, I would have 
lived a better life. But not so, my heart had been 
so hardened, my conscience had been so seared that, 
I cared for nothing but sin. From the day I left 
brother's I began drinking and gambling, fighting and 
being arrested and paying fines. After a time I went 
to work in the Old Hickory wagon works of Louis- 
ville. Up to this time I had been sleeping in a cel- 
lar under a barber shop. I had a cot, and one or two 
blankets to sleep on. I kept this up after going to 
work until drawing my first week's salary. One night 
after I had begun work, as I came home about mid- 
night to go to my bed in the cellar, I noticed two 
offiers standing on the opposite side of the street, and 



To the Ministry. 



55 



they had noticed me as well, for when I raised the 
the cellar door, which opened on the sidewalk, they 
evidently thought they had a burglar. No sooner 
had I gotten in the cellar and closed the door, than I 
heard one of them say, 4 'now!" and they rushed across 
the street and down into the cellar. But I had made 
haste as well as they, and when they found me I was 
covered up, head and ears, on my cot. They very 
plainly showed their disappointment and lef b, saying, 
any man that would sleep in a place like that, ought 
to be arrested, anyhow, burglar or no burglar. By- 
and-by I drew my salary, but lost it ail gambling and 
had to continue in my lodging house. I continued to 
work, lodging in the same place, for I would drink 
and gamble away my wages as fast as receiving them. 
I kept this up for months. 



MY TRIP TO TEXAS. 

CHAPTER V — OR FIFTH YEAR. 

The last day of April, '89, I started for George- 
town, Texas. I had worked for a firm in Louisville, 
who operated a chair factory, but failing in business, 
part of the company located in Georgetown, and 
started another factory. They had written me time 



56 



and again to come and work for them. I decided to 
go, and as I thought, leave Louisville forever. I 
went to the home of my mother to tell her good-bye, 
as I thought, for the last time. After telling her my 
intentions in as few words as possible, I started off. 
It was at the fence where she clasped my hands in 
hers, and bending over the fence kissed my cheeks as 
the tear-drops fell from her eyes like the water from 
a living spring. She said, "My boy, for God's sake 
let whisky alone; for mother's sake make a man of 
yourself.'' I started off and after walking some dis- 
tance, I turned to see what had become of mother. 
She was still at the gate, the tears still flowing from 
her precious eyes, and with trembling voice she again 
said, 4 'My boy, for God's sake let whisky alone; 
for mother's sake make a man of yourself. ' ' When 
reaching the corner I turned again and looked back. 
Mother was still standing at the gate, the tear- 
drops still falling, and I could still hear that sentence 
as it was borne to me upon the breeze of that spring 
day, "My son, for God's sake let whisky alone; for 
mother's sake make a man of yourself." I passed 
out of her sight. I again resolved to quit drink. 
Yes, said I, I'll get enough whisky to do me until 
I get to Texas and then I will quit drink and make 
a man of myself. I soon met the two other boys 



To the Ministry. 



57 



that were going to Texas with me to work in the 
chair factory, and as we made our way to the 
depot we stopped in a whisky house and got a 
half gallon apiece, soon after we reached the depot 
the train pulled out and we started for Texas. 
We drank as we went, in fact, I was drunk all 
the way. I would try to think of doing better, in 
my imagination I could hear the voice of my mother 
saying, "for God's sake let whisky alone; make a man 
of yourself/ ' I resolved in my heart to obey the voice 
and do better. 

After forty-two hours ride we reached George- 
town, and having but two 4 'drams' ' left in my 
bottle, in accordance with my resolution I threw the 
bottle with its contents out of the car windows When 
we got off at the depot the boys insisted that I go up 
in the town with them, but I refused to go, telling 
them that I had determined to live a different life to 
that I had been living, and I knew to do it I must 
stay away from saloons. So I started back down the 
railroad track, as the factory was about a half mile 
in that direction. I went to work and got a boarding 
house close to the factory. I worked for two weeks, 
at the end of which time I went to town to get some 
clothes that I was very much in need of. That night 
my resolution failed, and I got drunk. What w T as the 



58 



From the Gutter 



matter, had I never intended keeping the resolution 
I had made? Most assuredly I had. Then what, was 
I led into a "blind tiger?" Not so. the town may 
have been full of them and I would not have been en- 
ticed thereby. It was not the tiger, but the open 
saloon. 

I was as much in earnest the day I arrived 
in Georgetown, when I resolved to quit drink, as I 
ever was in my life, but the open saloon was too much 
for me. I could not stand the temptation. We hear 
men say that local option does no good and that a 
man does not have to drink unless he wants to, my 
heart bleeds within me. for I have had that trial. I 
wanted to quit but could not. Oh. my brother, in- 
temperance may not hurt you. perhaps you can quit 
when you want to, but in the name of God, and Him 
who died for you, help the fallen brother who can 
not help himself, help him by voting the cursed cup 
out of his reach. From that time on I began to drink 
and gamble again. One of the boys that came from 
Louisville with me and myself, got on a drunk one 
morning and continued to drink until late in the even- 
ing. We were at our boarding house, when we became 
engaged in a quarrel. I sprang to my feet and with all 
the power that I could exert hit him in the face, 
knocking him out of the room into the yard. I then 



To the Ministry, 



59 



sprang on him with a rock in my hand and began to 
beat him in the head and should have killed him, 
though he was the best friend I had in Texas, as he 
had many times before proven, and many times since, 
(Oh, how whisky destroys the reasoning power of 
man), had I not been pulled off of him by neighbors 
who heard his cries. While four men were holding 
me flat on my back, an officer who had been notified 
of the trouble reached the place, and before I knew 
he was anywhere near by, he hit me in the head with a 
leather pouch of shot. It was a lick I never have re- 
covered from, and never expect to this side of eter- 
nity. I was dragged to jail, where two physicians 
labored with me nearly all night. I knew not who 
hit me until I was told next morning as I was led to 
the court, tried and fined ten dollars for breaking the 
peace. Oh, what a hard paymaster the devil is. It 
was days before I was able to work at all. 

It was a month or six weeks after this spree, when I 
heard the sheriff of the county making game of the mar- 
shal for hitting me with the bag of shot, as small a man 
as I was, and said if ever he had a chance to arrest me 
he would show him (the marshal) how to arrest a boy 
without clubbing him to death. When this reached 
my ears the devil at once began at me to give him a 
trial, and show T the people of Georgetown what a 



60 



Front the ■ Gutter 



man I was. Being a servant of the devil I at once 
set out to do his bidding. I watched to catch the 
sheriff in town. It was one afternoon in August, when 
the opportunity presented itself. I was in splendid 
shape for getting drunk, as I was out of humor about 
something, and generally got drunk when out of hu- 
mor and had the money to do it. I had nothing to do 
that afternoon, some of the machinery at the factory 
had broken down; so immediately after dinner I set 
out for a saloon and at once began to drink. About 
the middle of the afternoon becoming very drunk and 
boisterous, I met the marshal, who told me he did not 
care to have to arrest me again, and that he would 
much prefer that I go to my boarding house and sober 
up, for, he said, the sheriff is in town and waiting for 
a chance to arrest you. I at once replied, go tell him 
that I want him to try to arrest me just once, tell him 

that he can find me at- , naming a favorite saloon 

on the opposite corner of the street, and I started for 
the saloon mentioned, the marshal going in another 
direction. I had just reached the bar long enough to 
call for and receive a glass of whisky which I was in 
the act of drinking, when the sheriff grasped me by 
the arm, with, 1 'you are under arrest. " ' 'And who are 
y ou?" said L 4 'I am the sheriff -of Williamson county. " 
"Very well, you have the law on your side, and are 



To the Ministry. 



61 



large enough to arrest two men like me," (he weighed 
about one hundred and eighty-five). I went with him 
like a little child, and by the time we reached the 
sidewalk he had gained confidence in himself, when 
I, as quick as thought, threw one of my arms around 
his neck and tossed him over my head. He hit the 
sidewalk head first. As soon as he could get himself 
straightened out, I jumped on him with both feet and 
began to kick right and left. By this time, the mar- 
shal, who had placed himself on the opposite side of 
the street to see how things were going to turn out, 
realized that there was something for him to do, so as 
quick as possible he made his way across the street 
and began punching me with a large hickory cane he 
used to walk with. After he had punched me a num- 
ber of times under the fifth rib, I managed to get the 
cane out of his hand, and at once began to use it very 
rapidly with as much force as I could exert, for by 
this time there had gathered a number of deputies, 
as well as citizens, who were trying to overpower me. 
After I had struck a number of blows that made the 
recipients stagger, I was overpowered, beaten, and 
clubbed and dragged to jail like a dog. After spend- 
ing a horrible night of suffering both bodily and men- 
tally in one of the filthiest places I was ever in (the 
calaboose) I was taken to court, tried, and again fined 



62 



From the Gutter 



fifteen dollars for breaking the peace. Ah! why is it 
that man will continue to serve the devil when he is 
continually receiving just such pay as this for his 
service? 

The factory never run any more after this 
under the same management, the proprietor having 
4 skipped by the light of the moon," owing every- 
body it was possible for him to owe, so I was left 
without employment, out of friends, out of money. 
No one wanted me to work for them, for I was like all 
others who partake of the wine cup, unfit for business. 
No one cared to board me without the money, and it 
is undesirable to board a drinking man anyway. (I 
have tried it since I became a christian.) In this way 
I continued in Georgetown for some time. In some 
way a firm in Fort Worth, Texas, who were needing 
chair caners, got my name and wrote for me. As soon 
as I could I started. Before leaving I again resolved 
to quit drink and make a man of myself. I had not 
only made this resolution, but had determined to keep 
it, for I had seen that unless I did quit drink I was 
ruined for all eternity. I went to work as soon as I 
reached Port Worth, working for two w r eeks day and 
night. On the fifteenth of the month as was the custom 
of the firm, they gave me a check on the bank for the 
amount due me, and I went to the bank and got the 
check cashed. 



To the Ministry. 



63 



This was the first time I had been in the business 
portion of town since the morning* of my arrival, for 
my place of employment was in the Northwestern 
part of the city. 

After my check was cashed I started back to my 
boarding house. I had to pass three saloons. The first 
I passed with very little difficulty, but as I passed the 
second I could hear the rattling of the billiard balls, 
the loud talking of gay young men, and could see the 
usual inducements offered to passers bye. I stopped 
but thinking of the past, and of what such places had 
done for me, I managed to overcome the temptation, 
and passed on. But by the time I reached the third, 
the devil had become desperately in earnest and had 
determined not to lose me, as I had been such a faith- 
ful soldier in the past. So he had placed in the door 
of the third a servant, in the shape of a young man, 
whom I had become acquainted with since I had been 
in Fort Worth, and as I drew near he approached me 
with a hallo. I stopped and entered into conversation, 
just what the devil was after, for he knew he could 
out argue me, as he had many times before. As soon 
as a few preliminary remarks could ba made I was in- 
vited in to take a drink. I at first refused, with the 
statement that I had quit drinking, but was met with 
the argument that the devil has been using ever since 



64 



From the Gutter 



the first barrel of whisky was manufactured; the ar- 
gument that has made every drunkard: "Come, one 
glass will not hurt you;" and I yielded and broke my 
resolution. That afternoon I drank until I became 
very drunk, and that night went into a gambling hell 
and lost all the money I had. I kept this up from 
September, '89 to February, '90; sometimes I would 
win hundreds of dollars, then I would lose all I had. 
It was the h«st day of January, '90, when I received a 
check for sixty- two dollars from the firm I was, 
working for. I had started for the bank when the 
mail carrier handed me a letter, and looking at the 
address I recognized the writing as that of mother's. 
Going back to my room I read the contents, it was 
like all of mother's letters, full of advice from a 
broken heart, as the paper, blotted with tear-drops, 
would indicate. Among many other things in the let- 
ter was, "My son I have gotten hold of one of the 
Georgetown papers and see that you are still drink- 
ing and have again been arrested and fined; son, for 
God's sake, let whisky alone, make a man of your- 
self." After reading the letter over and over, I re- 
solved again to quit drink and make a man of myself, 
but said it was no harm to go to the opera house, and 
as I had an engagement with a young lady to go that 
night, I would go. But when night came the young 



To the Ministry, 



65 



lady had heard that I was drinking and refused to go 
with me. I was very rough over the matter then, 
but now I can thank God for a young lady who will 
not be found in the company of a young man who 
drinks, much less go to an opera with him, a place 
not fit for the virtuous. I went without the young 
lady. After the show was over, as I made my way 
out of the building, I met a so-called friend who knew 
I was fond of playing billiards, who at once proposed 
going to a saloon and play. I refused, at the same 
time stating that I was going to quit all such things, 
and telling him of the letter I had received from my 
mother. Well, said he, you are right about that, I 
can not blame you; were I in your place I would do 
the same, but you have not yet written your mother 
of these intentions, so why not come and have one 
more night of fun and then quit for good. Another 
argument of the devil — Not now, wait until to-morrow. 
Oh! how many precious souls have made their beds 
in hell by waiting until to-morrow. I accepted the 
snare and went to the saloon and played billiards part 
of the night and drank until drunk. Part of the night 
I stood at the bar and rolled dice with a policeman 
for money. About six o'clock in the morning I went 
into a gambling hell and began to play faro, playing 
about three hours, when catching the dealer cheat- 



66 



From the Gutter 



ing, or in other words, stealing six dollars of my 
money, a few violent words passed between us when 
I struck him a blow which brought him to the floor. 
The officers were called in, and after a blow or two 
between us, I was overpowered, clubbed and dragged 
to the calaboose, and robbed of all the money I had, 
someone even getting my hat. I was brought before 
the court and fined five dollars, which amount I had 
to borrow. 

I trust that the readers of these pages may from 
this picture see what putting of until to-morrow is cal- 
culated to do. 

I went to work again and worked two more weeks 
day and night. On the fifteenth day of February I 
cashed another fifty dollar check. As I was going to 
the bank I passed the First Cumberland Presbyterian 
Church, and was met by a dear woman, to whom I 
owe much. She was just coming out of the door. Ap- 
proaching me in a way that has done much good, she 
reached out her hand and with a tender grasp she 
clasped my own, as she asked in tender tones, your 
name, please? I was so astonished that I could not 
speak for some seconds. I thought, is it possible that 
there is still one away from home that cares enough 
for poor drunken me to take me by the«hand? After 
I had given her my name she continued holding my 



To the Ministry. 



67 



hand as she gave me an invitation to come into the 
the church, stating that they were having jevival 
services. I gave as an excuse, that I was on a busi- 
ness errand for the firm I was employed by, and 
could not spare the time, when securing a promise 
from me that I would come out to-morrow afternoon, 
(Sunday, February 16th, 1890) to the opera house a id 
hear the evangelist (Dixon C. Williams) lecture to man 
only, she bid me good-bye, with a God bless you I 
shall never forget. I then went to the bank and 
cashed my check, and going to the gambling hell 
purchased fifty dollars worth of chips and began 
playing faro, playing until daylight Sunday morning. 
But, believe me, I never put my hand on a single chip 
that night, and at times I had hundreds of dollars 
worth, that I did not feel the hand of that blessed 
woman that had so tenderly pressed my own the 
evening before, and could not hear the parting 4 'God 
bless you," as plain as when it first fell from her lips. 
I left the gambling hell penniless that morning, go- 
ing to my boarding house where I ate breakfast, then 
sitting around until noon, when I went up stairs to 
my room to sleep, as I had no intention of going to 
the opera house to hear the evangelist as I had 
promised. I only made the promise in order to get 
away from the woman. I went to sleep, and in my 



fth From the Gutter 



sleep I could feel the impress of that hand, I could 
see the earnestness of her face, I could hear the part- 
ing God bless you; I awakened, never to sleep again 
until after I had fulfilled my promise, for the nearer 
the hour for the lecture drew, the more forcible could 
I feel the pressure of that hand, until I could stand it 
no longer. I made ready for the opera house; it was 
pretty well filled when I arrived, and I had to take a 
seat in the rear on the first floor, which suited me 
very well for I was not over anxious to get close to 
the speaker. Presently the speaker arose and taking 
his text began talking. He had not been talking 
more than thirty minutes when the Blessed Spirit of 
God secured an inroad to my heart, and plunged con- 
viction in upon my soul that I was unable to fight off, 
so I at once began to think seriously about the past 
as well as the future. When the opportunity for 
those who desired an interest in the prayers of 
christian people to make it manifest by rising to their 
feet, was offered, I was first to get up. After this 
invitation had been extended a few moments, the vast 
congregation was dismissed, and those who had stood 
were invited to meet the christian workers on the ros- 
trum, where prayer would be offered and instructions 
given. Among the many who went forward in re- 
sponse to this invitation, I made haste to be the first 



To the Ministry. 



69 



After a prayer or two I had forsaken all the past and 
made another resolution to quit drink, and bless God 
I did not stop there, but accepted Christ Jesus as my 
Saviour, and asked the blessed Father, the giver of 
all good, to back the resolution with his power, as I 
was powerless. I was converted then and there. God 
had created within me a new heart. How did I know 
it. Did some kind christian friend tell me? No! No! 
God bless you there was a flood of light and joy that 
had filled my soul, I was first to find it out among 
men. I felt that I must thank God for his goodness. I 
wanted to pray for everyone who had come forward 
who was yet unsaved. A professor who was traveling 
with the evangelist was leading in prayer, I tried to 
wait until he had concluded, but I got so full of the 
love of God that I could hold back no longer. I 
wanted to pray, so I prayed and prayed. Prof. Towner 
subsided until I had finished and then concluded. I 
do not know all that I said in that prayer, but among 
the many things that I tried to say, was for God to 
take away the appetite for strong drink, with the 
promise that I would never again go into a saloon 
after it or allow it in my home under any circum- 
stances. The prayer was surely answered, for the 
appetite has not only disappeared, but the smell of 
whisky makes me deathly sick. Yes, I have kept this 



70 From the Gutter 



resolution, but have kept it through the power of 
God, the only way resolutions, made by such men, 
can be kept. 

: I want you to notice another point in this last 
resolution. I did not say, make a man of myself this 
time, for I realized, as every one must before they are 
converted, that there is no such thing as self-made 
men; if a degraded human being is made a man in 
every true sense of the word, God must be the maker. 
The devil did not leave me at this point, although I 
was a converted man, for no sooner had I left the 
house than he began to say to me, "Now you have 
played it. What do you suppose people thought of you 
trying to pray. Some of them have been in the church 
for years and do not pray yet, and here you are, try- 
ing to pray already. Now if you will be a christian, 
be modest. Don't make a fool of yourself." This is 
the self same argument the old devil has been making 
with young converts since there has been any, 
and he has been making quite a success of it too, as 
the drones in the church goes to prove. But I thank 
God the argument was a failure in my case, as the 
following pages will testify. 



INTRODUCTORY TO PART II. 

In writing a biography of my life of five years a 
minister, realizing that it will fall into the hands of 
many of whom I may have an occasion to write not 
caring to be personal, with any one save myself, as I 
may write some things that all parties concerned 
may not be pleased to have made public with their 
names attached, so I shall call pastors, local-preach- 
ers and other Christian workers, with whom I have 
come in contact in my ministerial labors by single 
letters; and shall call the towns by a single figure; 
trusting that all may redound to the glory of God. 



FIVE YEARS A MINISTER 



PART II. 

CHAPTER I — OR FIRST YEAR. 

"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven; whose sins are cov- 
ered." Psalms xxxit : i. 

As soon as I left the opera house I started for my 
boarding place; when I drew in sight of the house I 
could see some of the boarders standing on the 
porch. The Devil then began another argument on 
this wise: "Now it is very good to be a Christian, 
but do not make a fool out of yourself when you 
reach the boarding house. Those fellows are going 
to ask you what you think of the evangelist. You 
need not tell them that you have been converted, 
wait until you see whether you are going to hold out 
or not. Then there is no use of letting everybody 
know it. It's nobody's business at any rate/' Oh! 
how shrewd the Devil is. He wants nothing better 
than to get a young convert to hide his or her con- 
version, for by so doing he succeeds in getting them 
to break one of the Saviour's commands — "Let your 
light so shine before men, that they may see your 



74 



From the Gutter 



good works and glorify your Father which is in 
heaven," and thus get them to take one step back in 
the world. 

By this time I had reached the house, and while 
the Devil had been presenting his argument I had 
been praying the Father for strength to meet the 
boys in truth. The prayer was answered, and when 
the boys asked what I thought of the evangelist, I 
at once replied in a manner that led them to believe 
that I was in earnest, bless God! "I think he is the 
grandest man I ever met;" and passed on into the sit- 
ting room. I could hear them talking, some would 
say I believe they have caught him; others said, well, 
if that man converted him he must be a grand man, 
and added that they believe they would go and hear 
him. Presently the supper bell was heard and we 
all began to gather around the table; one of the boys 
turning toward me said: "Well, I guess Fulkerson 
can return thanks for us since he has been to hear 
the big preacher, with a grin of persecution as well 
as that of fun making, but to the surprise of all in 
the house, I bowed my head and in the best way I 
knew how, returned thanks. This caused some to 
think more seriously about the change in me since 
morning, -while others thought it impossible for me 
to be converted, but thought I was only making 



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75 



sport. I was first to get through eating and left the 
room. I could hear them talking concerning me. 
Some were saying that it was a good thing if I would 
just hold out ; and others said that it would be im- 
possible for me to hold out, that I was too far gone. 
The hour soon come when it was time to start to the 
night service. I asked the two young ladies of the 
house to go with me; the invitation was accepted 
and we started for church. After the sermon was 
preached, the usual invitation for penitents to come 
forward was given; I at once approached some one 
near by and insisted that they go to the altar for 
prayer; after some few moments they consented to 
go, and I went with them and kneeled down by their 
side. Of course this was carried to the boarding 
house, which created some considerable talk among 
the inmates of the house. Not only was it carried to 
the boarding house, but it was circulated pretty well 
all over Fort Worth, for it was quite a surprise to all 
who heard it. 

I went to work the next morning as usual. I had 
been a very profane man. As I was working I cut 
one of my fingers very severely, and as my custom 
had been under such circumstances, I swore an oath. 
Now said the Devil, "I told you so; I told you not to 
make a fool of yourself and let everybody know that 



76 



From the Gutter 



you were trying to do better; now you have failed 
and it would have been so much better for no one to 
have known that you ever tried." I could hear the 
boys in the next room at work, laughing, and one of 
them said, I knew he would not hold out. I at once 
set my work aside, got down on my knees and began 
to pray and weep; I remained upon my knees until I 
realized the pardoning power of God. I got the vic- 
tory then and there and have never sworn another 
oath from that day to the present. 

It was not long until some at least were convinced 
that I was in earnest and that perhaps there might 
be some chance for me to hold out at last. I realized 
my calling to the ministry as soon as I was converted 
and after two days of prayerful meditation I took up 
my cross. My first effort to preach was under a 
large tabernacle, which was a grand success. By suc- 
cess, I do not mean to say my talk was logical, sys- 
tematical or eloquent. What I said or how I said it I 
shall never be able to tell this side of eternity ; but 
one thing I do know, it was owned and blessed of 
God our blessed Father, to the salvation of many 
precious never dying souls. From this time on I 
found opposition and the hand of persecution. From 
whom? The Devil of course. The Lord never op- 
poses the preached word though it be from the fool- 



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77 



ish, for He has chosen the foolish things of this world 
to confound the wise. Does he give the hand of per- 
secution? Nay, verily, but the helping hand. "Go 
ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every 
creature, and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the 
end of the world.' y Did the Devil do the persecuting 
and opposing, himself? No, he is too much of a gen- 
tleman. Who did it then? His servants of course. 
Who are his servants, the wicked and non church 
member? No, they would come and hear me gladly, 
and many of them were converted. Was it those who 
had been my evil associates? No, they would meet 
me on the streets and with a hearty grasp of the 
hand they would bid me go on. Who was his ser- 
vants then? Sad to say, but true, it was those who 
numbered themselves ^ith the congregation of the 
Lord, and he who was called of God to administer 
unto His children the bread of life. The pastor and 
congregation alike would implore me to cease trying 
to preach and would make sport of my grammatical 
errors and phraseology. So severe were they on this 
line at times, that I was so hurt I would weep and 
pray a day and night at a time. But the Lord was 
with me and his blessed spirit upon me, so I went on 
trying to talk a little now and then as opportunity 
would present itself, the dear Lord blessing each ef- 
fort to the salvation of souls. 



78 



From the Gutter 



But at last the hour came when the Devil succeeded 
in making me believe that the Lord had not called me. 
First, because my education was limited; second, be- 
cause my pastor and the leading members of the con- 
gregation to which I belonged thought I was mis- 
taken. So I decided that I could nob preach, and 
gave it up. I thought nothing or very little of what I 
had done for a week, but at the end of that time I be- 
gan to be very serious over the matter. The blessed 
Spirit had been sinking conviction to my heart, inso- 
much that I could rest neither day nor night. In my 
dreams at night I could see lost ones ushered into 
eternity that I could have been used of God in saving. 
And at day, when at my work, I could hear them cry, 
4 4 You failed to tell me of heaven and warn me against 
hell." But the Devil had so accomplished his desire 
through the church that I still remained unwilling to 
preach. Before God in prayer I would refuse to 
preach, and would plead my ignorance and the decis- 
ion of the pastor and part of the congregation as a 
reason. I continued in this condition for several 
days until at last I could neither eat, sleep nor work. 
I went to my work one morning, but the burden was 
so heavy that I could not carry it. I thought I would 
quit work for the day. I imagined that I was sick, 
so I went home and went to bed, but I could not resfc. 



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79 



I dressed myself and went up into the business part 
of town. Somehow I wearied through the day, but 
I still heard the cries of the unsaved. No sleep for 
me that night. 

I wearied on this way for some few days when one 
morning, while under a deep conviction of my duty 
to preach — so deep a conviction that I could think of 
nothing else — I got down on my knees to settle the 
matter, and as I thought get out of preaching at all. 
I began and prayed a prayer which in substance was 
as follows: "O Lord, I cannot preach; I cannot 
preach. I have no education and have no way of 
getting one. My pastor thinks I am mistaken, and 
the most influential members of my church say I am 
going to lose my friends if I don't quit trying to 
preach, and then, Lord, there is no one who wants 
to hear me preach. I have to go to the country and 
make my own appointments, and I just have to push 
them on the people at that;" (and then to top the cli- 
max and get out of preaching forever, I added), 
•'Now, Lord, if you do want me to preach send some 
one to me and let them ask me. Open the way, Lord, 
that I may know that it is Thou that has opened the 
way." 

I got off my knees perfectly contented. I thought 
I had settled the thing for time and eternity, and so I 



80 



From the Gutter 



had, but riot in the way I thought, for I thought it 
impossible for the Lord to find a place for me to 
preach, or at least He could find no one who would 
ask me to. I had been off my knees about fifteen 
minutes when a dear brother in the Lord stepped in. 
It was brother J. H. Hodges, who was then superin- 
tendent of the Bethel Mission of Fort Worth, but has 
since gone home to Glory from the shores of China r 
where he was a missionary. After making a few re- 
marks about the Lord's work he pulled his watch 
from his pocket and said, "My dear brother, about 
fifteen minutes ago I was in my office at the mission 
talking to the dear Lord about some one to come and 
preach for us at the Mission on Wednesday and Sun- 
day nights. I have some of the pastors of the differ- 
ent churches to preach there except the two nights 
mentioned, and as those are prayer- meeting and reg- 
ular preaching nights, I am without some one to 
preach on these nights. While I was praying I had 
a presentment to come after you for those two nights. 
I am sure I do not know why, for I don't know 
whether you want to preach or not; but I could think 
of no oue else bub you, and I am sure for that reason 
the dear Lord must be in it. You know that you have 
lived such a bad life that God may want you down 
there with those gamblers and drunkards." After he 



To the Ministry. 



81 



had finished speaking I told him of the prayer I had 
prayed about the same time he was praying. Just 
then he shouted, " God bless you; you are the man! 
God needs you down in that part of the town. ' ' I 
then told him of what my pastor and part of the con- 
gregation had been saying. ''Never do you mind, my 
dear brother, the dear Lord will attend to all of that. 
You come on when Sunday night comes. God needs 
you, I am sure, or I should never have been directed 
to come to you." 

We then bowed in prayer, he leading. I think he 
prayed one of the grandest prayers I ever listened 
to, or at any rate I do know while he prayed God 
poured out upon my soul of His blessed spirit until I 
was made to realize that I was anointed of God to 
preach the gospel. When the brother concluded he 
called on me to pray, which I did, and in my prayer 
I promised God to preach the gospel and try to make 
as faithful a servant for Him as I had ever been for 
the Devil, let men say and do as they please. 

Sunday night soon came, and according to promise 
I was on hand, My congregation numbered twenty- 
four — eleven Christians and thirteen unsaved. I took 
for a text the fourth verse of the fourth chapter of 
second Timothy : ' 'And they shall turn away their ears 
from the truth and shall be turned unto fables." What 

6 



82 



From the Gutter 



I said that night I have never been able to tell. I 
have never been able to preach from that text since, 
but at the close of the talk, whatever may have been 
said, I gave an invitation to the penitents to come for- 
ward for prayer, and after a prayer or two was offered 
they all made a bright profession of faith in Christ, 
and as many of them as I have been able to keep track 
of are still living Christian lives. One of them has 
already crossed over the river on the other side to be 
with Jesus. I preached at her funeral in the spring of 
1894. I went home that Sunday night happy in a 
Saviour's love, realizing that God was with me. 

I speak of going home. Perhaps I may better at 
this point tell that I had a home of my own to go to, 
for it was at this point of my life that I took unto my 
self a life companion. It was while I was first trying 
to preach that our courtship began. My wife was not 
a Christian when I began waiting on her. In fact, 
the last -three months of our courtship before marriage 
was not courting as young men and ladies generally 
court. My first word when I entered her home was 
"how is it with your soul," and our parting was with 
prayer instead of a kiss. One l ight as we knelt in 
prayer before parting the sunlight burst In upon her 
benighted soul and dispersed all darkness; she was 
happily converted to the religion of our Saviour. We 



To the Ministry. 



83 



were then engaged and in a short time was married. 
I would to God that there was more of such courting 
as just mentioned, and I am sure there would be less 
divorce cases in the courts of our land. While I loved 
the girl that become my wife, yet I should have never 
married her had she not given her heart to Christ and 
been converted. Dear Christian girls, never take a 
man to be your husband to make a Christian of him. 
If you cannot lead him to Jesus before you are 
married I am sure you will not afterward, and young 
men I would give you the same advice. There have 
been so many homes broken up, and lives wrecked 
and souls hurled into the regions of the lost by being 
unequally yoked together as man and wife. 

I continued preaching at the Bethel mission every 
Wednesday and Sunday nights. One Sunday night 
the house was packed with the roughs and toughs of 
the town. While I was trying to preach there was 
loud talking all over the house; some were talking 
of one thing, while others were talking of another, 
when presently some one threw a cud of tobacco at 
me which was something less than a hen egg in size, 
and hit me on the cheek and the juice of the same 
finding lodgment in my right eye, made me dance for 
a few moments, but I managed to keep my arms from 
around the ladies, as they do in the common dance of 



84 



From the Gutter 



to day. I did my dancing alone, as all dancers 
should do if they want to be religions. With the as- 
sistance of one of the Christian part of the congrega- 
tion I succeeded in getting my eye clear and the cud 
scraped off the side of my face, and again began to 
try to preach. The usual fuss was kepi up, but in 
spite of it all, the blessed Spirit carried conviction to 
the hearts of many, and when the altar service was 
opened there were eight who made their way forward 
for prayer, and each of them made a bright profes- 
sion of faith in Christ. I went home that night feel- 
ing that I had been paid a thousand times over for 
my labor. God blessed my soul with unspeakable 
joy and that full of glory. I went to my work still 
joyful, but all was not joy that day, for some time in 
the morning my pastor happened around at my place 
of labor to tell me that I had better go slow, that I 
was making a great many enemies by my trying to 
preach, and then added that you have got no right to 
tell people that you are preaching at any rate, for 
you have never been licensed to preach. There was 
one or two of the members who called upon me dur- 
ing the week to tell me that I was doing wrong to try 
to preach. But the week passed on and I worked 
each day twelve hours, and studied preparing a ser- 
mon for Wednesday and Sunday nights until twelve 



To the Ministry. 



85 



and sometimes as late as two o'clock in the morning. 
I prepared as I thought a sermon to tear those 
roughs and toughs that had bothered me so on the 
Sunday before, all to pieces, but when Sunday night 
came I reached the mission to find a congregation of 
six young ladies and two young men; Brother Hodges 
was one of the men. I supposed the entire congrega- 
tion to be Christians, and there I was with a sermon 
prepared altogether for a set of ruffians. What was I 
to do? We sang and waned for others to come in, 
but they failed to come; I purposed turning the whole 
congregation into a Bible class and study the Sun- 
day-school lesson, but this the ladies would not agree 
to. They told brother superintendent if I did not 
preach that they would never come back any more, 
so he told me I must preach. It would not do to do 
otherwise, so I had him to sing some more songs 
while I went into his office and prayed God for an- 
other sermon, but the more I prayed the more I was 
at a loss as to what to say. I could see nothing but 
the text I had intended preaching from. I prayed 
and prayed but no light came. I then concluded to 
preach the sermon that I had prepared to preach, but 
I was confident that it would ruin me forever to 
preach such a sermon to a congregation of young la- 
dies. But what is the difference, brother superin- 



86 



From the Gutter 



tendent told me that I would be ruined if I did not 
preach, and had I not as well be ruined for doing my 
best as for doing nothing. I took my text and began 
preaching away; it was not but a few moments until 
I had forgotten all about w T hat kind of a congrega- 
tion I had. I preached as if the house was filled to 
its utmost capacity. At the close I asked as I al- 
ways did if there was any present that desired the 
prayers of Christian people, and to my great surprise 
all six of the young ladies stood up as an expression 
of their desire for prayer. I then invited them to 
the altar and they immediately came forward, and af- 
ter a prayer or two they all heartily repented of their 
sins, and accepted Christ as their Saviour, and to-day 
they are as earnest Christian w r orkers as can be 
found in Fort Worth. 

The dear Lord taught me a lesson on that night, 
a lesson that I trust many may learn from this expe- 
rience; the lesson taught was, 'that when God gives a 
man a message to deliver, He knows just what He is 
doing. Then let the messenger deliver the message 
regardless of circumstances or environments, and 
trust consequences to Him who gave the message. 

I went home again that night with the joys of sal- 
vation. I continued preaching at the mission, the 
Lord blessing, and saving from one to twenty souls 



To the Ministry. 87 



every time I preached. We would sometimes go out 
upon the street corners and hold short services and 
invite the people down to the mission. We would do 
this in order to get a congregation to preach to. One 
night, while holding a street meeting, when down on 
my knees in prayer, some one threw a can at me and 
hit me in the head and made the blood come, but as 
the can hit my head a blessing from God hit my soul. 
I was made truly happy over the lick. In a moment's 
time I thought of many licks I had received for the 
Devil while in his service. Without a murmur on my 
part, I then praised God for the privilege of bearing 
one blow in his service. I raised to my feet singing: 

Oh, sometimes the shadows are deep 
And rough seems the path to the goal; 

And sorrows sometimes how they sweep, 
Like a tempest down over my soul. 

Oh, near to the rock let me keep, 

If blessings or sorrows prevail; 
Or climbing the mountain way steep, 

Or walking the shadowy vale. 

And my soul was flooded with delight of the service 
of my Master. When I think of that night I cannot 
help praising God for His goodness. Glory to God! 
What a wonderful Saviour to reach down His strong 



88 



From the Gutter 



arm of mercy and pity and save a poor drunkard like 
me. Hallelujah to God and the Lamb forever. 

I continued preaching, and a few of the congrega- 
tion still trying to discourage me, the pastor upon one 
occasion telling me that I might be mistaken in my 
call, when I asked him how could a man know when 
he was called to the ministry? He replied that a man 
might know by the way God blessed his services. At 
this point I interrupted him by saying the Lord has 
saved between seven hundred and eight hundred souls 
through me in this year; how many has he saved 
through you? This was the last time he ever said 
anything to discourage me, but replied if you will 
preach you should let the church give you the power. 
I was glad to hear this, for I was anxious to let the 
church help me all it would, but it had always been on 
the tear down rather than to help. But the matter 
was all talked over by the officials of the church, and 
they concluded as I would try to preach anyhow that 
it would be better to give me privilege to exhort. 

MY TRIP TO COLLEGE. 

CHAPTER II — OR SECOND YEAR. 

Immediately after I was authorized to exhort, my 
pastor put at me to go to school, which he thought 



To the Ministry. 



89 



for the best, and would have been had I been pre- 
pared to go. I promised to go as soon as it was pos- 
sible for me. In a few weeks I met preacher A. at a 
gathering; he was business manager of a college at 
town 1. I spoke to him about the possibility of go- 
ing to school and working my way through. He at 
once told me that he could give me twenty-five dol- 
lars a month if I would come and do the janitor work 
at the College, which I could do before books in the 
morning and after books in the afternoon, and go to 
college as any other student, and insuring me that 
my expenses would not exceed fifteen dollars per 
month. I accepted the offer and at once began to 
make arrangements to be off for school. In the 
course of a month I started with three wagon loads 
of furniture, a wife and a bird-dog. The schooling I 
received in the five months that I was there has in- 
deed proved to be a blessing to me in more ways 
than one, but not in a literary sense, however, for out 
of the five months that I was there, I went to school 
five weeks. The first week after I reached the town, 
preacher A. took me off to help him hold a meeting. 
It was indeed a feast to my soul; it was an old-time 
camp-meeting, the first one I was ever at. It was 
twenty -five miles from town 1, and we rode horse- 
back (it was the first horse I had rode any distanc 



90 



From the Gutter 



since a small boy;) the ride made me pretty sore. 
We reached the camp-ground about night; while I 
was hitching my horse I heard some one say to 
preacher A., did you bring that thing up here to 
preach for us; if that is our chance for a meeting we 
had just as well pull up and go home. I tried to 
preach that night, but being so very tired, and very 
much embarassed over what the brother had said, 
about pulling up and going home, that I made a com- 
plete failure. When the meeting closed that night 
there was as many heart-sick people as I had ever 
seen at one time. They were digusted with me, and 
hurt with preacher A. , and mad at themselves. A. 
preached the next morning while I went to the grove 
to talk to the Lord. If ever I put in a day praying it 
was that day. Night came on and they began sing- 
ing, the crowd had gathered in, and as I walked 
down the aisle I could hear them saying, "I wonder 
if he is going to try to preach again to-night." I took 
my seat on the rostrum, and after I had lead in pray- 
er, I rose to my feet quoting my text as I rose. I 
felt the power and the presence of the Holy Ghost 
coming down upon me; I began to preach; the bless- 
ed Spirit of God carried conviction home to the 
hearts of the unconverted, and when the altar ser- 
vice was opened the unsaved began to flock to the 



To the Ministry. 



91 



altar from every part of the arbor. There was shout- 
ing here and shouting there from the saved, cries 
coming up from the unsaved all around the altar. 
The meeting continued that night until near mid- 
night, and resulted in many happy conversions. Af- 
ter the congregation was dismissed there was a doz- 
en or more of the aged brothers and sisters, that 
came forward and apologized for the things they had 
said about me. The meeting continued for twelve 
days, with three services a day of which I conducted 
two. When the meeting closed it was said by many 
who had been attending camp-meetings annually at 
that place for twenty years, that it was the best meet- 
ing ever held at those camp-grounds. 

For fear some one may think I am trying to brag 
on myself, I will just say at this point, that I now 
realize as I did then that the power was of God, and 
not of man. As Paul would say in second Corinthians, 
the fourth chapter and seventh verse, 4 'But we have 
this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of 
the power may be of God and not of us." I thank 
God that I can give Him the glory for all that He 
does through me. The morning after the meeting 
closed, preacher A. and myself started back for the 
college at a very early hour. In a day or two I took 
Rip the janitor work, and started to school. I had 



92 



From the Gutter 



just worked as janitor one month, when one of the 
students purposed doing the same work for his board, 
which amounted to ten dollars per month. I was 
then told by preacher A. that he could no longer af- 
ford to pay me twenty-five dollars for that work, but 
if I was a mind to I could do the cooking for the 
boarders, which would not take much more of my 
time than the janitor work; I tried to do the cooking 
and go to school, but I found it was more than I 
could do. My dear wife then came into the boarding 
house to help me do my w T ork, that I might have 
some time to spend at my books, but the boarders be- 
gan to increase until they numbered sixty-five. I 
need not tell you that I had no time for books; we 
were at work in the kitchen long before daylight, 
and w T orked every night until ten, and sometimes 
later. This we kept up for more than three months, 
when I saw that it was impossible to have time to go 
to school any at all. When I quit and asked for a 
settlement, preacher A. claimed that I was in his 
debt, but out of the greatness of his heart he frankly 
forgave it all. 

I then moved to Fort Worth, shortly after which 
I was employed to supply a work as pastor, which 
consisted of two appointments. I was to give one 
Sunday in a month to each appointment. I remained 



To the Ministry. 



93 



in the work about five months. It was fall when I 
began. My first Sunday was a very pretty day. I 
had a large congregation and a profitable meeting. 
After the service one brother gave me 50 cents, 
arother 30 cents and one extra good brother gave me 
$1. I thought that the hard times of my life was 
then over with, for I had struck a people that would 
supply my wants, but I learned better by the expira- 
tion of the five months, for one more 30 cents was all 
that I received. Well, there was one good sister who 
gave my wife a whole dozen of eggs, and of course, 
I got half of them. At my other appointment I got 
one dollar and wife got a peck of sweet potatoes. The 
fall and winter was a very severe one. I served those 
two appointments when sometimes without food. 
There was a long black, muddy lane between me and 
my first appointment. I have traveled that lane to 
preach when the mud was so deep that I would hav e 
to get out and walk, and then my pony could hardly 
pull the empty buggy. To go to this appointment I 
had to drive along the railroad track, and many was 
the time after preaching to those people tnat I would 
drive along the track toward home and stop and get 
out and get coal that had fallen off the cars to make a 
fire to get warm by when wife and I would reach home. 
Many times we would be forced to go to bed before 



94 



From the Gutter 



dark because we had no fuel to make a fire to keep 
warm by, and many be the time that I have gotten up 
in the morning and would be obliged to drive out to 
the river bottom to pick up sticks to cook breakfast 
with, which very ofteu meant bread and tea. For 
many days wife and I have lived on bread and tea. I 
worked some at manual labor during these five months. 
I held two revival meetings, but they paid like the 
circuit paid. I know of no time in life when I enjoyed 
the appearance of spring time like I did the spring 
after that winter. I never shall forget the«old swamp 
elm that stood in the river bottom where I had picked 
up sticks to cook with. It was first among the trees 
of the forest to bud. When it had put forth its beauti- 
ful green foliage it made me think of the tree of 
life, in the city of God, spoken of in the Bible. I 
thought of that beautiful home of the saints, where 
there is no winter, no need of fires, but all is as bright 
as the spring-time, forever. The unbeliever may look 
at this experience as being unjust on the part of God, 
but I cannot see it thus. It was unjust on the part of 
the people for whom I was preaching, and I believe 
God will hold them responsible. But God took the 
unjustness of that people to try me, and he tries all of 
his servants. I had promised Him (God) that I would 
make as faithful a servant for Him as I had been for the 



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9i 



Devil, and I had served the Devil faithfully — without 
anything to eat, without a bed to sleep on and without 
any fire to warm by, and in this experience comes a 
test, yet it was not so great as I had endured for the 
Devil, for I had a bed to sleep on; I had some fire to 
warm by and something to eat. The precious Master 
never let me suffer as had the Devil. One time I got 
out of bread and tea during these five months; we ate 
our last in the morning, but before noon I had met a 
brother in Christ on the streets in Forfc Worth who 
stopped me and said, "Fulkerson, what have you got 
to eat at your house ?" I told him that I had nothing; 
that I had just ate the last for breakfast. "I thought 
so, " said he, "for while I was conducting our family 
worship this morning I had a presentiment which I be- 
lieved was of God, that you were in need and I men- 
tioned it to my wife, telling her that I was going to 
hunt you up. Pulling his hand from his pocket he 
gave me a dollar, and then wrote me an order for five 
dollars worth of eatables on a groceryman. I took the 
dollar and got food for my pony, carried home my 
eatables, praising the Lord for his kindness. This is 
one time that the Lord thus provided, out of many, 
during these five months. For the want of encour- 
agement and support, along with some differences of 
opinion as to the doctrinal points taught by the church 



96 



From the Gutter 



to which I then belonged, which I then considered, as 
I do now, very essential, and as I see it, very danger- 
ous doctrine to be taught to the saved or unsaved. 



CHANGE OF CHURCHES. 

CHAPTER III — OR THIRD YEAR. 

I left the church, and being very anxious to work 
for the Lord and realizing that every Christian should 
belong to some branch of the Christian church, I 
united with the first church that gave me any encour- 
agement to unite with them that believed as I did in 
that one particular point of doctrine, never thinking 
to investigate the rules of discipline on other points. 
It being a new church in the South had no work for 
me save the evangelistic work, as there were but two 
charges in the state, and they were supplied by a 
man and his wife. So I at once put out to holding 
meetings and organizing new societies or classes. I 
first held a meeting at town 2. There was no church- 
house at this place, but I secured the use of a school - 
house. I began the meeting in the fear of the Lord, 
trusting in Him alone for success. The meeting con- 
tinued two weeks and resulted in thirty-two conver- 



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97 



sions and the organization of a class of fourteen mem- 
bers. They made up enough money to buy me a 
pony, as I was without one, having had to sell the one 
I had while traveling my first work to pay house 
rent. I kept up an appointment in this place for some 
time. 

I had been praying the Lord to direct me to an- 
other meeting. I received an impression to go to 
town 3. I went at once, driving all day in my buggy. 
I arrived at the place about dark. There was living 
in this town a man and wife who were both preachers 
of the denomination to which I belonged. They were 
somewhat Jonahs. They had not exactly taken the 
ship to flee from the presence of the Lord, but some- 
thing on that order. I stopped with them that night, 
and making my business known, they said that they 
would like to see a good meeting, but thought it the 
wrong time to have one. I told them that I must have 
a meeting — that I had been directed there by the 
Lord. So I started to work in the morning looking 
for a house. I worked until noon, when I saw that 
it would be impossible to get a church. That after- 
noon I made a contract for the opera-house at $6 per 
day and night, and gave a mortgage on my horse and 
buggy as security for the rent. I set a day to begin 
the meeting and started back home. I had some cir- 



98 



From the Gutter 



culars printed to advertise the meeting and mailed 
them to preacher B. to distribute to the public. 

I arrived at town 2, the night appointed to begin 
the meeting. The congregation was very small. The 
cause of this w 7 as brought about by a so-called union 
meeting of three different denominations, which had 
been gotten up in opposition to the meeting I had an- 
nounced. But I preached for one week, my congre- 
gation numbering from 25 to 100. At the end of the 
week there had been fifteen conversions and $4 in 
money collected to pay the rent for the use of the 
house, w T hich amounted to $42. I was getting some- 
what uneasy about my horse and buggy by this time, 
which was mortgaged for the rent of the house. It 
was now r Saturday night, and I spent the whole of the 
night in prayer to God for money to pay the rent. 

Sunday morning I preached to the usual crowd, 
save one face — the owner of the opera-house. I 
noticed that he was very restless while I was preach- 
ing. Presently the tears began to roll from his eyes. 
After service I made my way to him and told him of 
my success in getting money for the rent, and then 
added that I saw no way to pay for the use of the 
building but to let him have my horse and buggy, and 
if he would just set a price on them I would use the 
house until the price was taken up. He repliea with 



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99 



a sob: ' 'No, I will not do that. I have heard how 
those other churches have been doing you. I am no 
church -member, but I would not treat a man as they 
have treated you. I will not charge you the full 
price; the lights (referring to the electric lights that 
he used in lighting up the house), cost me $1.25 a 
night, and I thought if you would pay for the lights 
it would be all right." So in this way the Lord an- 
swered my prayer and paid for the use of the opera- 
house. Praise the name of the Lord. He has promised 
to care for those who serve Him, and His promises 
never fail. 

By this time the so-called union meeting had 
played out for the want of a congregation. Sunday 
night after preaching I met preacher C, pastor of 
one of the churches, and one of the leaders of the 
union meetings, who, after apologizing for the meet- 
ing they had been holding, offered me the use of his 
church house for meeting. I accepted the offer and 
began the meeting. The house proved to be too 
small to accommodate the people, and a tabernacle 
was erected on the church lot. The meeting con- 
tinued for one month, resulting in eighty-four con- 
versions, and the organization of a class of forty-five 
members. I began at once to erect a church building 
which was completed in four months, ready for 



100 



From the Gutter 



preaching. Preacher B. and wife preached occasion- 
ally for them. I kept up an appointment at town 2. 

There was a called Conference to transact busi- 
ness that was very urging, and to appoint preachers 
for the new classes. The Bishop sent presiding-eld- 
er D. from Kansas, to preside over the conference. 
The conference was called to order; the urgent busi- 
ness was first attended to, which was a trial of my- 
self. There were three charges preferred against 
me: First charge was, for holding a meeting at town 
3, when preacher E., who was pastor of a charge 
near by, had thought of holding one at the same 
place; second charge was, that my wife had been 
presented with a bed quilt by a sister who lived on 
preacher B.'s work; third charge was, that I had re- 
ceived fifteen dollars by mail, from a good woman 
who was not a member of anybody's church, from 
town 3, where I had held a meeting after preacher B. 
had begun to preach for them. 

After the verdict of not guilty was pronounced, 
the appointments were read out. The appointments 
were to be for six months only. Preacher B. and his 
wife were read out for town 3; preacher E. and his 
wife were to keep their appointments, as they had 
not had charge of them but six months; I was read 
out for town 2, the first class I organized. I was to 



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101 



give all % of my time to that one appointment, a class 
of fourteen members as poor as myself, and I was not 
able to pay for a good suit of clothes. After the ap- 
pointments, I rose to my feet and asked how I was to 
be supported, stating that I knew the people to 
whom I was sent, and I knew that there was not a 
member who was able to give a dollar, but one, and 
he was not able to give a great deal. Presiding- 
elder D. answered, "my dear brother you must just 
trust in the Lord. " Preacher B. and his wife re- 
sponded, "that is it my brother, you must trust the 
Lord;" preacher E. and his wife were also heard 
from, "trust the Lord my brother, and you will come 
out all right. ' ' 

After they had concluded with their trust 
speeches, I got up and said: "Dear brethren, all that 
you have said may be very nice, but to me it 
sounds like hypocrisy. Here is the elder with a 
black land farm in Kansas, and a thousand dollar sal- 
ary, crying 'trust the Lord.' Here is brother B. and 
wife, with a business that will pay them a thousand 
dollars a year, a class of forty -five members that are 
able to pay them three hundred dollars a year, 
preaching 'trust,' and brother E. and his wife, with 
two charges able to pay them five hundred dollars a 
year, and receiving three hundred dollars a year from 



102 



From the Gutter 



the missionary board, crying aloud, 'trust, my broth 
er, trust.' This may seem all right to you, but I can- 
not see it in that light. I am going to take the work 
and trust God for support, but I do not want either 
of you to think for a moment that anything that you 
have said has influenced me to take the work, for it 
has not." 

I went to my work expecting to preach in the 
school house, but the trustees would not allow it. I 
visited my members to see what they could pay me, 
and what to do about a house. I found one member 
that promised to pay me five dollars a month, and 
that was the only one that was able to give me any- 
thing. I rented a store house to preach in, and gave 
that five dollars for the rent. I announced at my 
first prayer meeting that I would preach my first ser- 
mon in the store the following Sunday. Rain or 
shine I would be there; that I intended to be there 
every Sabbath unless sickness prevented. 

Sunday came, and about ten o'clock it began to 
rain, and it rained until the middle of the afternoon. 
Wife and I got into oar buggy- and drove to the store 
house, which was about three miles and a half dis- 
tant. No one came, but we sang several songs and 
prayed several prayers. I read scripture and com- 
mented. After service we drove tw r o miles from the 



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103 



place of worship, in an opposite direction from our 
home, for dinner. We were seen by a large number 
of citizens who made up my congregation, and we 
were heard singing and praying by many, and the 
report started that we had come through the rain and 
conducted services. About time to start to meeting 
again that night, the dear sister with whom we had 
taken dinner and supper, began to insist on our stay- 
all night with them, assuring us that there would be 
no one out to preaching, as it was again raining very 
hard. But w T e declined, stating that I had promised 
to be at my post every Sabbath unless sickness pre- 
vented. We went on to preaching, and to my sur- 
prise, when we got there, though it was raining as 
hard as it had in the morning, we found the house 
crowded to its utmost capacity. We had a grand 
meeting that night. There were three conversions. 
I was more than paid for the day's service. Praise 
the name of the Lord. He always pays a faithful 
pastor. 

At another time on this charge, wife and I went 
through the rain to preach, when there was no one 
come. We held services with God, for He was there, 
Praise His holy name He has promised to meet 
His children whenever as many as two of them meet 
together in His name. We went to our home. We 



104 



From the Gutter 



spent most of the evening in prayer, asking God for 
a congregation that night to preach to. Night came 
on, but it came with a fearful norther. I hitched my 
horse to the buggy and drove to the front gate to 
wait for wife. She came to the door and said: "I 
cannot see any use of our driving out to church to- 
night in this cold wind, for I am sure there will be no 
one out." "Never mind," said I, "we will be there, 
and the Lord has promised to be there." "Yes, but," 
replied wife, "we cannot stay there, for there is not 
a stick of wood there to build a fire with. 5 ' 1 'That is 
so. I had not thought of that. I guess I had better 
fill our buggy bed with our wood." "I guess you 
will not fill the buggy bed," replied wife, "for there 
is just enough wood here to cook breakfast with, in 
the morning. ' ' * 4 Well, we will take what we have 
got." "But," said wife, "what are we going to do in 
the morning?" "Ah, the Lord will provide wood, if 
He has to send me to the river bottom to pick up 
sticks as He did when I was preaching for my first 
charge. ' ' 

We took the wood and went to preaching, and 
when we got there we again found the house crowded. 
"Well, wife, the Lord has answered our prayers, for 
we have got the congregation." I hitched my pony 
and got the armful of wood and made my way into 



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105 



the house to find a red hot fire and a good sized pile 
of wood. I asked where the wood came from, and 
several of the brethren responded: 4 'We brought an 
armload in our buggies." ' 'Yes," said another, "I 
have got a good big armload in my wagon," and he 
added, "we will not need yours." "Well," said I, 
"I am very glad of that; I will just put this back in 
my buggy, for it is every stick of wood we had." I 
carried it back to my buggy, and as I come in I heard 
some one say, "That will never do; he must have 
some wood." 

I preached and God blessed the preaching. There 
were a number of precious souls blessed that night. 
After the congregation was dismissed, the brethren 
filled my buggy with the wood they had left over, and 
promised me that I should never be without again, if 
I would always let them know in time; and I never 
was as long as I continued on that work. 

Oh! praise the name of God how He does provide 
for His own. I got several cords of wood for that one 
armful, and got the armful back. 

My dear Christian readers, never be afraid to give 
to the support of God's cause, though it be the last 
you have, for God will repay you an hundred fold in 
this life, and life eternal in the great beyond. 

I got some behind with the rent for the house I 



106 



From the Gutter 



lived in, and the landlord had notified me that he 
could not let me stay in the house any longer. It 
was Thursday morning when I hitched my pony to 
the buggy, and wife and I started out to find another 
house. We drove all day through the falling rain 
but we found no house that we could rent unless we 
would pay in advance and this we could not do. This 
was prayer-meeting night, so we started to prayer- 
meeting. It was still drizzling rain and we had to 
drive three miles or more, facing the rain, to get to 
the place of worship. But in spite of the bad night 
we had a very good congregation. Sister F. was 
there, who lived two miles or more in the country, 
from the place of worship. She was not a member 
of the church of which I was pastor, but was of an- 
other denomination. I conducted the prayer-meeting 
and we had a grand time with the Lord. 

After the people were dismissed, sister F. made 
her way forward. I can see the heavenly smile 
that was on her face, as I pen these Hues, when she 
said, ''Brother, I have been thinking of you and Sis- 
ter Fulkerson all the day," and added, "my house in 
town was vacated to-day and I can rent it again to an- 
other party for twenty-five dollars a month, but I 
do not care to rent it, as I thought perhaps I may 
want to move in it myself in the course of a month or 



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107 



two, and I thought I would let you have it free of 
cost until I got ready to move, and then I would still 
let you have two rooms." After I had accepted the 
proposition, she gave me five dollars to pay for mov- 
ing. Just then a dear brother stepped up who had a 
team, and said, "you keep that money, I will move 
you and it will not cost you a cent." I moved into 
that house and kept the use of it ail, as long as I re" 
mained on that work, sister F. concluding to remain 
in her country home. Oh! how wonderful the bless- 
ed Lord does provide for His own. I never shall 
forget sister F. for her kindness, and some of these 
days, when life in this world shall have ended, I ex- 
pect to hear the Saviour as He says unto her, "Come 
ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom pre- 
pared for you from the foundation of the world. For 
I was an hunger and ye gave me meat, I was thirsty 
and ye gave me drink, I was a stranger and ye took 
me in, naked and ye clothed me; I was sick and ye 
visited me; I was in prison and ye came unto me. 
Verily, I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it 
unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it 
unto me." 

1 stayed on this work my appointed time, and God 
in different ways cared for me. It was not always 
that we had and to spare, but God gave as He saw 



108 



From the Gutter 



best. We lived on bread and tea for days, and for 
forty-eight hours we lived without bread and tea, at 
the end of which time God provided for us in a way 
that will be worth mentioning. I received an order 
on one of the grocery men through the mail. There 
was a short note with the order which was worded 
about as follows: 

"Dear Brother — I have been impressed of the 
Lord that you were in need of something to eat. 

Here is an order on . naming the grocery man. 

Your Sister in Christ." 

The order proved to be good, but by whom pre- 
sented I know not, as the grocery man would not tell, 
as he had been requested not to. So you may see 
that God provided during this six months. 

I held a number of revival meetings, which were 
owned and blessed of God, to the salvation of many 
precious souls. I will mention but one of them. I 
was called to help in a meeting at town 4. It was be- 
ing conducted by two missionaries — one home and one 
foreign. I preached several times during the meet- 
ing. It was a grand one, but one thing that made 
it a success to me is that it was the place where my 
eyes were healed of the Lord. The foreign mission- 
ary conducted a meeting in the morning for the ben- 
efit of foreign missionaries, and of course there was 



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109 



a collection taken The dear brother had what he 
denominated a missionary's jewelry box. Those who 
were desirous to give for the support of missionaries, 
and had not the money to give, could give their jewel- 
ry. The brother had a friend in New York who 
bought it, and the money was sent to the mission- 
aries. The brother make a very earnest talk, with 
which he opened my eyes to facts that I had never 
thought of, and I became more interested in the mis- 
sionary movement than I had ever been before, and I 
became very anxious to give something for the sup- 
port of the movement, but I had no money and had 
no jewelry, save a pair of gold eye-glass frames 
which I had not been able to do without for more 
than two years. They had been the last thing I had 
taken off at night before lying down to sleep and the 
first thing I put on in the morning when I arose. 
But I became so interested in the movement, and so 
anxious to give something, that I prayed to God, if it 
be His blessed will, and if He could better use for His 
glory the price of my eye-glasses in foreign fields 
than he could use the glasses on my nose, to heal my 
eyes, and I would at once give them up. 

The meeting come to a close and the congregation 
was dismissed. I went to my stopping place, and af- 
ter I had eaten my dinner, I went to the postoffice 



110 



From the Gutter 



after my mail. I received a letter from my wife, but 
on opening it, I found I could not see through my 
glasses. Supposing that they had become dusty, I 
took them off and wiped them, but putting them back 
on, I found that they were worse than before. I took 
them off again and rubbed them until they were per- 
fectly clear, but when I put them to my eyes they 
would seem milky. I was in the act of cleaning them 
again, when the thought struck me: The Lord has 
answered your prayers and your eyes are healed. I 
put the glasses in my pocket and read the letter 
without them. Carried them to meeting that night 
and gave them to the missionary. From that time to 
the present my eyes have been perfectly well. Glory 
to God for His goodness to the children of men. 

After this meeting I started home to Louisville, 
Ky., to see my precious old mother, whom I had 
never seen since she kissed me while I was drunk at 
our parting, when I left for Texas. We arrived at 
mother's home Christmas morning, about four o'clock. 
It was indeed a happy meeting. Mother kissed my 
lips for the first time since I had been a Christian. 
She met my dear wife for the first time. No words 
could describe our meeting. It was a glorious 
one. I have thought that if our meeting with our 
loved ones in heaven should excel that one, it would 



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Ill 



be worth a life of service in trials and* tribulations to 
meet on that happy golden shore, where parting 
never comes, even if the meeting should be all there 
was in heaven. I held a meeting while there, which 
was blessed of God, to the salvation of many precious 
souls of the boys with whom I had so many times in- 
dulged in sinful pleasures. We spent about twenty - 
five days in Louisville with our loved ones. It was a 
happy time, indeed, but it was not all sunshine. The 
devil was there. My step-father, who is a wicked, 
heartless human being, marred the peace of our meet- 
ing to some extent. He would curse mother because 
she would go and hear me preach. He became so 
heartless and cruel to mother that we had to spend 
the most of the time with a married brother and sis- 
ter. Mother would come to see us through the day. 

The time came when we must start back to our 
w r ork. The parting was a sad one, but not so sad to 
mother as was our parting when I first bid her good- 
bye when starting to Texas. She went to the depot 
with us. When I kissed her good-bye, with the tears 
flowing from her eyes, with her face heavenward, 
she said: ''My boy must leave me again, but, thank 
God, should he be called to judgment, he is prepared 
to meet me in heaven." Speak of joys of the world. 
I would not give the thought of that meeting and 



112 



From the Gutter 



parting, for all I ever got in the world. I got back 
to my charge in time to preach two more Sundays 
for my people before conference met. I was sent to 
another work, leaving the many precious friends that 
God had given me during this six months. 



CHURCH TRIAL AND ACQUITTAL. 

CHAPTER IV — OR FOURTH YEAR. 

The conference was called to order with presid- 
ing elder D. in the chair. After such business as is 
usually disposed of first in such gatherings, my char- 
acter was brought before the conference, with two 
charges or complaints presented, by pastor B. of 
town 3, and pastor E. of city 5. First charge was 
that I had received money by mail, from a sister om 
pastor B.'s work; second charge was that I had al- 
lowed preacher G. of another denomination to preach 
in my pulpit. A verdict of not guilty was passed, 
and the conference took up its usual line of bus- 
iness. 

The appointments were read out and I was sent 
to town 3, in preacher B.'s«place, and he was left 
without an appointment. Here the people received 
rue gladly, and the year promised to be one of sue- 



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113 



cess. For the first quarter we had some grand meet- 
ings; had conversions at every service held, but in 
the first month in the second quarter, some trouble 
arose. There was a widow, who was a member of 
the class, who had lost her husband a short time be- 
fore I was appointed pastor. She was left in very 
bad circumstances. I was at her borne one morning 
when her landlord came to collect rent for the house 
in which she was living. It was a very dilapidated 
building; the paper was all torn off and there were 
cracks that mice could crawl through. When she 
paid the rent she asked the landlord to please paper 
the front room. He began to make excuse for not 
doing the papering; he said that he would not mind 
buying the paper, but it cost so much to have it put 
on. I told him if he would furnish the paper that I 
would put it on myself, which I did. Wife and I 
went to her home the next day and while we were 
there I put on the paper. The next morning shortly 
after breakfast, one of my church officials called. He 
had not been in the house but a few moments, when 
he said: 4 'Brother Fulkerson, I came over to have a 
talk with you this morning. I think you are showing 
too much partiality among your members. Now 

there is sister , " calling her by name, "you 

have been there two days in succession; you was 



114 



From the Gutter 



there day before yesterday and yesterday you and 
Sister Fulkerson spent the day there, and I am told 
that you papered her front room for her. I think 
that you had better been home at your studies, or 
calling on some of your members that pay. That 
woman has never given you anything to support you 
and she never will, for she has not got it to give." 
After a few moments pause, he then told me who to 
visit, when to visit, and what to do and say when I 
did visit. I had said nothing up until this time, but 
I then told him in a very spirited manner, that I 
would visit who I pleased, and when I pleased, stay 
as long as I pleased, and say what I pleased, if I 
thought it pleased the Lord. He then left my house 
in a very hurried manner, telling me as he left that 
he would never pay me another cent so long as he 
lived, and he never has. He began to talk, and said 
things, I am afraid he will have to meet in eternity. 

In a few weeks I preached on ' 'Sabbath Desecra- 
tion," and I got pretty close to some more of my pay- 
ing members. Monday morning I had more callers. 
It was the brethren that had been hit with 4 'thus 
saith the Lord on Sabbath desecration/' I was told 
by them, if I did not apologize from the pulpit for 
the sermon I had preached, they would never pay 
me another cent. I replied, "my brethrer, though I 



To the Ministry. 



115 



should starve to death, I shall never apologize to 
any people for preaching the word of God." I never 
apologized, for I was satisfied that I had preached 
according to God's word. They never paid me any 
more. It went very hard with me, but nevertheless 
I had done lis I had felt directed of the Lord, and I 
had His promise that He would be with me and not 
forsake me, Wife and I lived on bread and tea for 
weeks, and at one time the bread and tea was all 
gone, but praise the name of the blessed Lord, He 
again, as He always does, fulfilled His promise. It 
was prayer- meeting night, and we had just enough 
flour and tea for breakfast. After prayer-meeting we 
went home to find our dining table packed with eat- 
ables, enough to do us for more than a quarter. 
There was some dress goods and half a bolt of do- 
mestic for wife, and six dollars in cash. The dear 
Lord had sent it all by friends, and the leaders of it 
all were friends of another denomination. "Bless 
the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all His bene- 
fits." 

My dear brother minister, never be afraid to 
preach the whole truth, and condemn sin in all of its 
forms. It may cause some of the hypocrites in the 
church to fall out with you, and some of the paying 
members may cease to pay, but God who has prom- 



116 



From the Gutter 



ised all your needs to supply, will never leave you 
nor forsake you in time of need. Bless His holy 
name, I have tried Him. 

It was while I was with this people that I solemn- 
ized my first marriage ceremony. It was one that I 
shall never forget. It was during the time that my 
flour and tea were so low, and of course I was very 
much encouraged when the messenger came for me 
to go ancj solemnize the ceremony. I felt that per- 
haps it was in answer to prayer, as I had been pray- 
ing for something to do that I might earn some 
money. It was not long, however, until I saw that 
I was mistaken, for I never was offered a cent for my 
services. It was two months after this when I met 
the groom on the streets; I stopped to speak to him 
and I suppose he thought I was going to ask him for 
my pay, for as soon as I had spoken to him, he said, 
"Brother Fulkerson, I was just thinking about how 
mean I had treated you." "Well, brother, that is 
strange, sure, for I was just thinking of the same 
thing," and passed on, not waiting for a reply. I 
suppose he is still thinking of his meanness toward 
me, for he has never mentioned his marriage in my 
presence since. 

I gave up this charge at the expiration of nine 
months, with the consent of a bishop, to enter into 



To the Ministry. 



117 



the evangelistic work. When I got ready to leave, I 
was told by one of the old brethren, if I was not so 
cranky about ice-cream suppers that they would give 
one for my benefit, and thus they would be enabled 
to pay me the amount they were indebted to me, but 
I answered, 4 'my dear brother, before I will have a 
dollar that comes through a church supper, I will 
make you a present of the debt, and sell my house- 
hold goods to get money enough to buy railroad tick- 
ets for myself and wife." I was informed that I 
would have to do so, or accept money through the 
suppers, as that would be the only way they would 
pay. I sold my household goods and bought tickets 
and went to Fort Worth, Texas. It took about all of 
the money we had to get there. We tried boarding 
for a while, and just about the time the money was 
all gone, I got an opportunity to go to town 6, to cane 
some chairs, which was my trade. I went and caned 
the chairs, and took some of the pay for my work in 
furniture and some in cash. During 1 the time I was 
caning the chairs, the Lord opened the way for a 
gracious revival meeting. I would cane chairs until 
time for morning service; I would then go and 
preach, and work again in the afternoon and preach 
at night. The meeting was one of success. The 
dear people gave me forty-five dollars for my service, 



118 



From the Gutter 



my chair caning same to something better than sev- 
enty-five dollars, and I returned home rejoicing. 
Praise the Lord I was more than paid for refusing 
the ice-cream dollars. Praise God I will work at 
manual labor half of my time to support myself, and 
preach the other half, rather than to receive a single 
dollar made through an ice-cream supper, or any oth- 
er kind of a church ball. I tell you such is not God's 
plan for raising money to forward His cause, or to 
support His ministering servants. 

While I was caning the chairs I had many occa- 
sions to refer to my past life, as the proprietor and 
salesman were both unconverted men. In fact, I re- 
ferred to my past life so much that I had not been at 
work for them but a short while when they became so 
interested that they began at me to give a lecture on 
my past life, which I agreed to do if they would se- 
cure a house to lecture in. So they called upon pastor 
H. for the use of his church-house. But before he 
would consent he called upon me and asked to see my 
credentials, which were all right, for no pastor should 
think of letting a man preach from his pulpit without 
the individual is duly recognized by some evangelical 
church. After my credentials had been seen, I was 
then asked if I expected any pay for my service. I 
replied, "No; I am not after money. I am here to 



To the Ministry. 



119 



work, and I thought if I could glorify God by telling 
my experience I would gladly do so and wait until I 
got to glory to get my pay." "Well," said paster H., 
"you can have the house, but you will have to use it 
some night during the w T eek or on Sunday afternoon," 
and then added, "I would like to let you have Sun- 
day night, as I fear that you will not be able to get a 
congregation at any other time, but I am delivering a 
special series of sermons to the young people on that 
night." I thanked him for his kindness, telling him 
that I did not care to interfere with any service and 
would prefer Sunday afternoon. The appointment 
was made. I had 500 circulars printed and distrib- 
uted among the public to advertise the meeting, and 
and when the hour came for the service tha house was 
packed to its utmost capacity. I could see that pastor 
H. was somewhat nervous over the situation. He was 
afraid that the unknown speaker would fail when it 
come to speaking to that house full, as his remarks 
indicated, as he rose from his seat to give the speaker 
an introduction. He began by saying that he knew T 
nothing of my ability as a speaker, but that I was a 
licensed preacher, as my credentials would go to 
prove. He trusted, however, that the meeting would 
prove a profitable one. 

As I began talking I could feel the power of God 



120 



From the Gutter 



coming down upon me. The Holy Ghost carried the 
message home to my hearers, and the love and power 
of God melted their hearts and the tears flowed from 
their eyes. It proved to be a wonderful meeting. 
Just before the congregation was dismissed pastor H. , 
forgetting all about his special series of sermons to 
the young people, whispered in my ear, "Brother, 
can't you preach to-night?" I preached and opened 
the altar service. There were many at the altar and 
some conversions. I was asked to preach again the 
next night, which I did, and which resulted in a num- 
ber of conversions. It was from this that we had the 
glorious revival meeting referred to. The meeting 
lasted two weeks. I was now compelled to go to my 
home to attend another annual conference. 



APPOINTED TO THE EVANGELISTIC WORK, 

CHAPTER V — OR FIFTH YEAR. 

Conference was called to order, with Bishop I in 
the chair. Pastor E, of city 5, had run out of com- 
plaints against me by this time, but he had not give 
up trying to get rid of me; that is, to get me out of 
the church. He met the bishop at the depot and told 
him that I had gone to a neighboring city and joined 



To the Ministry. 



121 



another denomination and that I was now waiting to 
get the best appointment, or I would have none. The 
bishop wrote the pastor of the church that pastor E. 
had told him that I had joined. The charge was 
brought against me in conference. The bishop was 
in the act of expelling me from the conference, when 
he received a telegram from the pastor in reply to 
the letter he had written, which stated, ' 'Brother 
Fulkerson is not a member of my church, nor have I 
ever seen him." The matter dropped just here. 
Oh, it is wonderful how God cares for his children. 
This was the third year that preacher E. had tried to 
have me put out of the church, and it was all because 
he was afraid I was going to be thought more of by 
the higher authorities of the church than he himself. 
Oh, what an awful demon envy is ! God help the 
readers of these pages to strive to crucify the demon, 
if such they have within them, or the demon will be 
sure to crucify you as it crucified preacher E. He is 
to-day dead, so far as his influence is concerned. He 
was made to give up his last charge, and was forced 
to leave this part of God's moral vineyard. 

The appointments were again read out b}^ the 
Bishop. I was left to evangelize and to organize new 
classes. I started out upon this year's work with 
more vim than ever before, and it was a year of bless- 



122 



From the Gutter 



ings and successes. While I organized no new classes, 
yet God used me in saving hundreds of precious 
souls. It was not because I had no opportunity to 
organize new classes, for I had many, but I was con- 
vinced that it was not the best thing to do, for I 
found another denomination just like us in faith. 
Our church policy differed some little, but not a great 
deal, so I was convinced to help build up what was 
already begun, than to try to build up that which 
would conflict with that already begun, when both 
was almost identical. 

My refusing to organize caused some considerable 
trouble in the church to which I belonged, and which 
terminated in my leaving the church. My year of 
evangelistic work was almost altogether in and for 
sister churches. 

I shall not be able to tell of all the meetings and 
their results, but shall only mention a few of them. 
It was early in the season when I was called to town 
7 to help Evangelist J. in a meeting. It was a grand 
meeting, indeed. God wondrously saved scores of 
precious souls. I went from town 7 to city 8 with 
Evangelist J. to conduct a tent meeting. Evangelist 
J. was only with me in this meeting a few days. He 
was called away to another meeting. The meeting 
resulted in the salvation of many precious souls and 



To the Ministry, 



123 



the gaining of many precious friends to myself. 

The night before the day that was to be the last 
day of the meeting, there came a fearful rain storm 
which blew my tent down, and broke the center-pole, 
which made it impossible to hold meeting; so I was 
left without any financial pay for my labor, as the 
last night was the night set apart to take up a collec- 
tion, to defray my expenses. I had to borrow money 
to get home on. To some this may seem very hard, 
but it was not so bad pay as I had received from the 
devil many times, for the dear Lord had given me 
many friends during this meeting, that loaned me 
money to ride home on. But the devil, when I had 
done far more faithful service for him in the past, 
than I had done for the Lord during this meeting, 
and he (the devil) sent me on my way without a 
friend, to ride in box cars. The best pay the devil 
ever gave to one of his servants, is not to be com- 
pared to the slightest blessing that God gives to 
those who trust in Him. 

God did not stop at giving me friends to give me 
money to get home from this meeting, but 
through the meeting He opened the way for another 
meeting in the same city, that paid me well finan- 
cially, and paid me a thousand times over in a spirit- 
al sense, for God used me in leading many precious 



124 



From the Gutter 



souls to Himself. I was invited early in this year's 
work to help canvass Ellis county, and lecture on the 
subject of temperance, preparatory to a local option 
election. 

During this canvass I met a strange freak of nature, 
which, perhaps, it will do to mention, as the object 
of this book is to warn men of danger, and to point 
them to Christian life. The thing of which I speak 
was a very small being, both in stature and princi- 
ple. He was in the shape of a man, and claimed to 
be a preacher of the Gospel, but he proved to be a 
preacher of drunkenness. I met him at one of my 
appointments. He was the first to speak, and occu- 
pied an hour trying to prove from the sacred word of 
God, that Christ was a wine bibber, and a constituter 
of drunkenness. I followed him with my Bible as he 
referred to passages, and tried to so misconstrue 
them, as to make them sustain his blasphemous 
argument, which, of course, was impossible, for 
God's book is a book of temperance. I followed him, 
using the same passages that he himself had used. 
But he did not stay to hear me. but left the house as 
soon as he had finished speaking. God was with me, 
and I think that the congregation w T as convinced that 
the strange being who had just been talking to them 
was of the devil, and had left the house to be with 
him (the devil) alone. 



To the Ministry. 



125 



I had splendid order during my discourse, was nou 
interrupted but once or twice. There was one other 
strange being in the house, who interrupted me by 
telling his neighbors that sat on the same seat with 
him, of things that Sam Jones had said. I paused 
for a moment until all was quiet and then said: "As 
Sam Jones is on exhibition to-night by some of my 
congregation, allow me to tell you of one more good 
thing that he has said. He says the reason some men 
cannot be convinced of a thing, is because they will 
not keep their fool mouths shut long enough to listen 
at the argument presented. " The strange being be- 
came enraged over this remark, and it was not until 
I had convinced him that I was merely quoting Sam 
Jones, that I felt safe in his presence. After a great 
roaring of laughter on the part of the congregation, 
I had the very best of attention during the remainder 
of my discourse. And while we did not win at the 
election, yet I am convinced that there was much 
good done. I have never heard of the being above 
mentioned ever interrupting another preacher. 
While trying to defend the cause of Christ, he may 
still continue to preach his infidelity,- as before, but 
if ever guilty of this charge again I have never 
heard of it, and if he is never guilty again I shall al- 
ways feel paid for that night's service. 



126 



From the Gutter 



The next meeting that I shall mention, is the one 
I held at town 9. It was a glorious meeting in many 
respects; it was a camp-meeting. Here we had many 
bright professed conversions, but the meeting was 
not all sunshine. It was here that the death angel 
came and plucked from my little family circle our 
darling Bessie Lee. This brought some clouds over 
our pathway, but praise God the clouds were not so 
black but what we «could see through them all the 
precious hand of Jesus. Our home has not been just 
what it was before this. I cannot kiss her hands as 
once I did, but praise the name of my dear Redeemer, 
I can see them far above the skies, as they beckon, 
"Come this way." Thank God 

We shall know each other better, 

We shall know each other there; 

On the resurrection morning, 

When free from toil and care, 

With our tear dimmed eyes made perfect, 

We shall know each other there. 

Oh, blessed thought, we are to meet where parting 
comes no more, forever. 

I went to town 10 to hold a meeting for pastor L. 
When I arrived I found no one looking for me at the 
depot, as I had thought, as pastor L. was expecting 
me. I wandered up the street and made inquiry for 



To the Ministry. 



127 



the church, which I found, and learned that the par- 
sonage was on the same lot. As I approached to- 
ward the house I saw pastor L. sitting out in the yard 
in the shade, with his feet propped up against the 
house, with a corncob pipe in his mouth and the 
smoke flying. I said nothing, but I thought 
had I been pastor and he evangelist, I would 
have met him at the train instead of sitting in the 
shade of the house puffing a pipe. The meeting was 
one of success, and God gave me many precious 
friends at this place. I went to town 11 to hold a 
meeting for pastor M. Here we had a grand meeting, 
with many conversions, and the Devil got about as 
mad as he generally gets He had things to steal 
buggy-whips and rugs. Just what those things were 
I am not able to tell, but one thing I am sure of, they 
were not men, for men would not be guilty of such. 
It was here that I received a notice through the mail 
to leave town before night or I would be rotton-egged, 
with a warning to pastor M. to behave himself or he 
would receive the same treatment. I read the letter 
and commented on it some from the pulpit. Of course 
the coward threw no eggs. Don't understand me to 
say that the Devil did this writing, for I believe that 
he (the Devil) has too much principle to be guilty of 
any such filthiness. The writing was done by 



128 



From the Gutter 



some one with less principle than the devil has. 

I went to town 12 to hold what is usually denom- 
inated a union meeting, but I am persuaded that they 
are non-union instead of union. In the first place, 
there are too many bosses; in the second place the 
bosses can't agree, and in third place, there is strife 
and discord. Here I found sin in all of its outrageous - 
ness. The officials of the town were guilty of drunk- 
enness; some were gamblers; some would drink in 
the saloons on Sunday and pay for their drinks. The 
mayor of the town would sit around on the streets 
of the town on the head of beer kegs and let vulgar 
oaths flow from his mouth in the presence of the 
passers-by; whether male or female, made no dffer- 
ence. And when I got on to such with both feet, 
from the pulpit, the Devil and his servants began to 
rage. The officers served a subpoena on me to ap- 
pear before the justice of the peace, because of as- 
sertions I had made in the pulpit concerning viola- 
tions of the law. They felt as if their loyalty to their 
office had been questioned, but it had not. They had 
no loyalty for office or anything else to be questioned. 
Before they got through with me they wished that 
they had never served a subpoena on me, for I told 
them of things that they did not care to hear. But it 
worked out for good. It made men out of some of 



To the Ministry. 



129 



them, and others it put out of office. I made some 
enemies at this place, to be sure, for the Devil and 
his host all got out of humor, but God gave me many 
precious friends. I tell you a man never loses any- 
thing by being true to God, aad preaching condemna- 
tion upon sin and sinner. 

I next went to town 13. Here I met another 
splendid pastor. In short, I will call him Moon. He 
was a man who would dare to do the right, and in 
spite of the many wrongs he did, he accomplished 
the right sometimes. He said a great many good 
things daring the meeting, one of which I mention. 
He was telling of a quarrelsome back-biting member 
he at one time had — a man that was all the time find- 
ing fault — biting and snapping at his brethren. Fi- 
nally he left the community. On leaving he came to 
pastor Moon and asked for a church letter and re- 
marked, ' 'I guess you are glad I am going to leave. " 
Moon replied, ' 'No, I cannot say that I am. It is true 
that you have always been snapping and biting at my 
sheep, but I hardly see how I am to do without you, as 
I believe every shepherd should have a shepherd dog 
to round up the sheep for him," and then added, 
"you know you have been faithful on that line." 
This incident has learned me a lesson. I always 
thought before this that a backbiting man or woman 

9 



130 



From the Gutter 



should not be allowed in the church at all, but I hare 
considered and have been convinced that it is better 
to be the shepherd dog than not to belong to the flock 
at all. 

It was in this meeting that I had another hard pull 
with satan. I found that there was a school in the 
community that had a public library of the most de^ 
grading novels I had ever read. And when I was 
serving the devil I was a novel reader. I secured one 
of the books that had fallen into the hands of a little 
girl, to read, that was only ten years old. I cannot 
afford to demoralize these pages by quoting from the 
filthy sheet. But as I have already said, it was one 
of the lowest type. I began at once to expose the 
filthy books from the pulpit, as well as privately. 
Then it was that the devil began to rage. He secured 
a crowd of filthy things in the shape of humanity to 
rotten egg me. The eggs had been secured, and the 
filthy crowd had gathered at the church, ready to 
accomplish their design, as soon as that service was 
over. But somehow, after I got through telling them 
that it would be impossible for them to throw an egg 
at me half so rotten as they themselves were, they 
gave up the idea. I never have been able to tell why, 
unless they concluded that the rottenness of them 
selves was as much as they could stand at one time. 



To the Ministry. 



131 



The meeting resulted in much good. There were 
many conversions, and the filthy library was locked 
up, never again to be opened to the public in town 
13. In spite of the devil and his army, God gave me 
as many precious friends at this place, and paid me 
better for my service than any'other town I ever held 
a meeting in. Glory to God for His goodness. It 
pays to be true to God. 

Later on in the season I went back to town 11 to 
hold a meeting for Pastor M. We had another grand 
meeting. It was here that I united with the M. E. 
Church South, to labor. It was shortly after this 
that wife and myself started to see my precious 
mother again. We arrived at her home in Louisville, 
Ky., on the 13th day of December. Our meeting was a 
happy one, but our stay was blighted by that un- 
godly step -father. He began to curse and abuse 
mother the very moment that he found we were in 
the house. He cursed her because I got her a bottle 
of medicine, which I paid for myself. It run on in 
this way for a day or two, when one night he became 
enraged. We had all gone to bed but dear mother. 
He was cursing and abusing her, when he jumped out 
of bed and threatened to kill her. I then sprang out 
of bed and made haste to get into the room where 
they were. I asked him what it all meant. He then 



132 



From the Gutter 



began to curse me, and sprang to his feet and hit ine 
a blow above the left eye, and struck at me the second 
time, when I warded off the blow, and struck him 
somewhere in the face, which brought him to the 
floor. After I had let him up, he then sprang to the 
closet where he had a loaded rifle. I bade him stop. 
He refused, and I struck him another blow which 
brought him to the floor. I then put him out of the 
house, and took my mother and wife to a married sis- 
ter's to stay all night. The next day was Sunday, 
and I went back to mother's home and waited for her 
until she got ready to go to church. After the ser- 
vice there was a messenger brought us warning not 
to go back to the house, or in any way near it, as he 
(my step-father) was only waiting to kill us all. I 
then went to the police court and had a warrant is- 
sued for his arrest. He was arrested, fined, and put 
under bond to keep the peace. This may seem awful 
to some, and so it is, but this is such treatment as my 
dear mother has received at his hands for more than 
twelve years. Oh, my! What is it that sin will not 
do, to destroy the happiness of man? Mother was 
afraid to risk her life with him any longer, so I 
brought her home to live with me. 

Some may think strange at my fighting. I hate 
it. I would that it were not true, but a religion that 



To the Ministry. 



138 



will not help a boy to defend his own precious 
mother, from the violence of an enraged, sinful man, 
I want it not in my heart. I am sorry over the fact 
that mother had to leave her husband, but as such is 
true, I rejoice to know that I, the boy that has so 
many times in life cause her to weep in pain, can now 
care for her in her old age and give her a pleasant 
home. Oh, how my heart leaps for joy when I am 
privileged to kneel around my family altar with 
my mother, and hear her pray. Oh, the grandeur of 
a Christian home. Glory to God for His wondrous 
love to me. Instead of a drunkard as once I was, 
breaking a mother's heart, I have tasted the cup of 
salvation, and am able to bless her in old age. 

On the 14th day of February, '95, I solemnized 
the marriage ceremony for Rev. I. L. Rawdon and 
Miss Nannie Fife. It was nothing like the first cer- 
emony I ever solemnized, of which mention was made 
in these pages. For the first I received no pay, for 
this one I was amply rewarded. I was privileged to 
feast on the good things that go to make up wedding 
suppers and inf air dinners. I had married many 
couples during my ministry, but this was the first 
minister I had ever married. It was a grand occa- 
sion. Instead of dancing, we had gospel singing; in- 
stead of playing such games as are commonly played 



134 



Fmni the Gutter 



on like occasions, we had prayer; instead of uniting 
the saved with the unsaved, it was a preacher united 
to one who felt called to be a preacher's wife. 

Well, to-day being the 18th day of February, 1895, 
which closes my five years of experience as a minis- 
ter, I find myself seated at my secretary, in my home 
in the little town of Cedar Hill, Texas. I am sur- 
rounding by many precious friends, with a family al- 
tar, where twice a day I am j3rivileged to gather my 
little family, which consists of my blessed compan- 
ion, my dear aged mother and a half sister, and offer 
our thanks to God for His saving and keeping pow- 
er, for His grace that has and does save a drunkard. 
Thank and praise His name for a happy home. Oh, 
how grand it is to be a child of God. As you read 
these pages you may see that I have tried both lives, 
that of a sinner and that of a Christian. And while 
there have been some dark places in my Christian 
experience, none has ever been so dark but what the 
Christ that died for me has been sunshine to my soul, 
while the life of a sinner was all gloom and darkness, 
with my master (the Devil) ever ready to desert 
me in the most severe trials. 



135 



THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THE TWO LIVES. 

I started in the sinful life with many friends, and 
closed it without one, save a mother. I began the 
Christian life without a friend save mother, and close 
my five years a Christian, with hundreds of precious 
friends. The friends that I found in sin were such 
as the one that robbed me of my last forty cents I 
had in the world, after I had fed him four weeks, and 
the one that drugged me in Chicago and then stole 
my purse with its contents, my grip with its con- 
tents, and left me without a penny and without a 
change of clothes and nowhere to lay my head. 

Now I have hundreds of friends that have cared 
fqr me when in need, some who will deprive them- 
sehres to give to me, friends who stand by me in every 
trial of life, and there is one that sticketh closer than 
a brother — Christ. Then I was glad to eat in sa- 
loons, and get my bread and coffee in the mission, 
that I have mentioned in these pages Now I eat in 
the best homes of our land, and eat the finest the 
market affords. Then I slept in box cars, on lumber 
and coal, with a stone for a pillow; on chairs in gam- 
bling hells and saloons; out in the forest, and some- 
times in barns, and by the roadside. Now I have 
some of the finest bed rooms that our land affords; 



136 



To The Ministry. 



soft downy feather beds in the best homes 
of our country. It would take me twelve months 
to sleep one nighfc in each home, where I have 
the best of bed rooms. Then I traveled in box cars, 
under passenger coaches, on top of passenger coaches, 
in cattle cars. Now I travel in passenger coaches, 
in Pullman sleepers, and have the best of 
accommodations that the railroads of our land 
offer the public. Then I beat my way on 
the railroads. Now 7 I travel on clerical passes. 
Then I was a wretched drunkard on my way 
to ruin. Now T I am a minister of God's gos- 
pel, on my way to immortal glory. But along with 
the Apostle Paul. I can only say, 4 'By the grace of 
God I am what I am." My dear readers, may I say 
in conclusion, may the dear Lord help you to re- 
alize that w T hat you have read in these pages is no 
fable, but a reality. 

The writer has lived the past life that you find here 
narrated, and may the God of heaven and earth use 
this experience as a signal of danger and a guide to 
your pathway of life. 

The End. 



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